I got a text message from my friend Heather back in ABQ yesterday, saying “Terri, we miss your blog!” And I wrote her back saying I did too. I have missed writing here. So, I am back. I’m not sure how often I will write in the future – I was writing twice a week at one point, maybe once a week is more realistic. That will be my goal anyway.
As with all big changes in life, there has been a bit of an adjustment period, and it’s still ongoing now. The drive from ABQ to southwest Florida took 4 days and 3 nights. There is a limit as to how many hours I can drive in a day, and how many hours my cats could stay in their carriers before we would all collectively start to lose it.
I have started numerous drafts over the past three months, always intending to finish them, but something else came up, or I just wasn’t “feeling” like the post was really “me.” I need to stop always searching for the perfect words, or the perfect tone, and just put it out there.
It was freeing to move with only what I could fit into my car and the car-top carrier. I miss Morgan though, a whole lot. I know she is happy with my old roommate, and he sends me pictures of her. She is getting along better with other dogs, and his new living situation includes another dog and they have become best friends. I am glad to hear all that, and I know she wouldn’t be happy here in this small apartment, but still, I miss her and all of her goofiness.
I see pictures that friends post of ABQ, and I remember how beautiful the surrounding areas were. I see pictures friends have posted of Lake Powell and the awe-dropping, inspiring beauty of the expansive vistas in that part of Arizona and Utah. I miss those scenes but I think back and remember how when I was living there, I just didn’t feel completely like I belonged there. So, I remind myself, I can always visit.
I have been busy doing lots of side transcription jobs, partly out of necessity. It’s expensive to live in this part of Florida. Just a few miles away from me, there is a Bentley dealership. Right next to the Maserati dealership. Yes, you heard me right. A Maserati dealership. On my way to work, I pass by the Porsche dealership. There are lots of people in this town with LOTS of money. Many are retired.
Food is more expensive here, for sure. But some things are free, or close to free. I have an annual pass to the state parks, and once I change my license and tags over to Florida, I will be able to get a free beach parking permit. (Until then, I pay for the meters close to the beaches, but since the sun is so strong, I only go for a couple hours at a time anyway, and even then, I seek out shade whenever possible.)
My credit card balance has risen more than I would like it to have. That’s another reason for the extra transcription jobs. At some times, I feel hopeless about getting them back to zero. But I remind myself that they were before, I can do it again. It will just take hard work and discipline. But then there is that little voice in my brain that reminds me, I can’t live to work. It’s better to just live, so sometimes on my days off, I push the work aside and go to the beach or just take time off to hold Snuggles in my lap and love on him, or do the same with my kitties. Because I can’t control the future. No one can, and I don’t want to spend every moment of every day working. If something were to happen to me and today were to be my last, I don’t want my epitaph to say, “Well, she worked really hard.”
You may be wondering if I am going to continue school. For this fall semester at least, no. I need time to really adjust to my new life here, and I honestly don’t think I can stomach taking out more student loans. I have read through the Public Service Loan Forgiveness program and think I may actually qualify. (I think I misread some of the details in the past.) So, I’m in the process of filling out the paperwork and figuring out how to contact my past non-profit employers such as Harvard and Best Friends so I can determine how many payments I have made toward that 120 payment requirement since 2007. (Payments made during times of forbearance or deferment don’t count.) I believe my present employer also qualifies. Pray for me that my federal loan nightmare will end soon!!!
I promise to not wait another three months before posting again, I really do. And for those of you whose blogs I have subscribed to through email, I’ve been getting the updates and reading them. Sorry for not commenting. Just, some nights, I have been so exhausted when I get home, I fall asleep on the couch, wake up around midnight, take Snuggles out, and then crash into bed for the next few hours. (Oh and my couch was free, as was a lot of the stuff you see in my new apartment, thanks to some very generous folks.)
I know it’s all a matter of balance. I just have to continue looking for it. Thanks for your patience, if you’re still a faithful reader. I do appreciate the support.