Getting Out of My Debt: A New Plan (I’ve Had IT!!)

Terri

I came to a few realizations last night and I went to bed angry. Fighting mad angry. But in a good way. I owe a lot of this to my friend Dan, who answered a text message of mine that said “Do you think I’m stupid for wanting to leave a good paying job to do something that will pay so much less?”

The reason I asked this question is because I see so many people struggling just to get by and I feel like I should just be thankful for whatever opportunity is thrown my way. For example, there are the cleaners/housekeeping folks at my gym – all three of them work two jobs. None of them have English as their native language, which definitely hurts their job prospects.  I know for a fact that one of them works seven days a week, and that a second one was until he finally had his daughter talk to me to write a note to the manager stating that he would like to take Fridays off since he was working seven days a week. (He and I are slowly teaching each other some words in Spanish and English.)

In response to these concerns, my friend Dan told me, among other things, “you can still be thankful and desire to live a Purpose Driven Life.”  He also said something that struck home: “No one says on their death bed, ‘Thank God I paid off that student loan.'” Finally, “It (my student loan debt) runs your life in that it makes your decisions for you.”

So now, I’m going to do what he suggested: “Find a balance between the obligation you owe the debt and the bigger obligation you owe yourself.”

I looked at my loan details last night for my Big Daddy loan. I started paying (or shall we say, deferring and forbearing) back in 1997. Now that I have been paying interest-only payments on it for the last two years (as part of a graduated repayment plan), just to keep it from growing, I see that the final repayment date is in 2034 and another in 2035 (Big Daddy consists of two consolidated loans – one is unsubsidized federal money and the other is subsidized.)

In case you’re wondering what the difference is between a subsidized loan and an unsubsidized one–well, the difference is when who pays the interest that is accruing during terms when you are not in repayment, such as when you have taken a deferment. Deferments can be for a number of reasons but the most common ones are that you are currently in school or you are going through some sort of economic hardship. With a subsidized loan, the federal government pays the interest coming due. With unsubsidized ones, that interest just keeps on accruing and accruing and accruing and at the end of your deferment or forbearment period, all that unpaid interest gets thrown on the top of the loan, essentially making your principal balance, upon which more interest accrues, even larger than when you started. Do you see why this can get overwhelming to think about? I had loans that were unsubsidized during my first year of law school. You’re encouraged to not work during your first year of law school for  a lot of reasons. So even by the time I graduated my principal balances had already grown by a whopping lot.

My Big Daddy loan actually consists of two loans – out of $75K, one has a principal balance right now of $44K.  So that puts the other one around $31K.  Here’s the funny thing – that loan that now has $44K to its  name – when I consolidated that loan back in 2001, guess what the principal balance was at that time? Yeah….it was about $41K.  All these years, I have paid at the very least $538/month, and for many years, while I was married, I even paid extra principal to it every month. Sometimes, about $700/month, on the combined Big Daddy loan.  So, how, you ask, is that balance even higher? If you take an average of $6000 paid every year and you multiply that by 13, how much do you get?? Hmmm. 78K.  And yet the balance of Big Daddy these days is still over $75K.

So here’s what I decided the other night – I’m going to switch careers to something that I find much more fulfilling, and if I pay less money per month to my student loans, so be it. I want to have a life where I feel like what I am doing every day is more in tune with my heart. And for me, that means working with animals.

Beginning this week, I am going to begin volunteering with the Animal Rescue League of Boston and work with their livestock animals. Right now, that means goats, sheep, a horse, and some chickens. I heard back from my local vet who asked me to send a resume or CV and let them know the hours during which I could volunteer, so I would be able to get experience working in a private vet office with small animals. I want to try to expose myself to as many different types of animals and types of organizations so I can see what best fits with me and my personality, etc.

I already know the average salary for vet assistants is something like $22K-30K. This is about what I live on right now, but I currently pay extra money to my student loans and paying the higher amounts on my loans. With a lower salary, I will be eligible for different types of repayment plans, and one can lower your payments to about 10-15% of your salary. So yes, it moves the final payoff date out that much further into the future, but life is short.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a slacker. i do want to pay back my debts. I do. I just think that with all the money I have paid this government over the years, the government can continue to wait for the 2x and 3X the principal amounts I will end up paying back. I could walk outside today or tomorrow and get hit by a car or something worse. I could be like Brittany Maynard who was 29 and found out she had an aggressive form of brain cancer. I’m not trying to be melodramatic or anything. I just have decided to not let these loans run my life anymore. I’m going to start living my life for me. And for the animals.

So this is the new plan. I’m going to pay off the private student loan which is sitting around $13,500 right now. That one, I don’t have tons of options about. But the federal ones…I’ll deal with them, probably for the rest of my life, but at least it’ll be a life that I feel good about at the end of every day. I’m thankful for the opportunities I’ve been given in this world, and every time I go to a talk at my school about animal rights, I get this strong feeling in my stomach that I NEED to do something to help them. And with my background, I can. I want to work with the animals in a hands-on way, but if there’s a way I can also be involved in using my education or my social or personal skills to their advantage, well, I plan on doing it. I’m open to the opportunities.

I’m home with my mom this weekend to celebrate an early Thanksgiving. I hope you will all have a great weekend. If you’ve liked this post, please hit like or subscribe, or drop me a line below.

Living Your Life with Purpose and Finding Out What That Is

Terri
HoneyBun in her hideaway.
HoneyBun in her hideaway. She looked so cute, I just had to take this picture.

I get daily emails from a website called Mind, Body, Green. The most recent email I received had this in the subject line “7 Signs You’re Living with Purpose.” I was so glad to read through it and see that, hey, a lot of that fits me in my life right now!

The first sign mentioned is you’re scared. Um, yeah, that would sum me up as I start thinking and planning toward my life changes of next year. When I would sit and think about taking my life on the road, I would become terrified of all the unknowns that would possibly happen to me. All the things that could go wrong. All the times I would get  lost. But as the article says, if you’re afraid, then you’re growing. And I know that as I keep questioning all of my ideas and feel that bit of fear on a daily basis, thinking of leaving all the security I have right now, I am fearful but I’m growing in that I’m becoming more self aware every day. And I see that as a gift.

The second sign is that your friend circle is changing.  I would say that is also the case for me. I’ve added a few new friends, especially in the online world. People with whom my life would otherwise most likely never have crossed. They’ve given me such great advice and friendship.

The third sign is opportunity seemingly comes out of nowhere. Wow. Earlier today, I was at work at at the gym.  One new member with whom I instantly felt comfortable as I gave her a tour of the place, stopped by to chat for a few moments and lo and behold, she’s a vet tech with the same animal hospital where I have begun taking my oldest cat, Bonkers, since this past June. Needless to say, a great conversation ensued and I let her know I had called the vet’s office last week to inquire about volunteering with them or shadowing some of their vet techs as this is a career I’m seriously looking into right now. I asked her for her email in case I had questions and she readily wrote it down. You never know who you’re going to meet, right?

The fourth sign is that the puzzle starts to make sense. Things that you’ve done or events that have happened, or people that you seem to have met or experienced, seemingly random, now make sense. This one I’m still working on.

The fifth sign is that you rely heavily on intuition.  This one, I totally agree with. At one point, I thought I would buy a motorhome for the ease of always having my home with me and my animals with me at all times. I then thought, well, how will I get around when not driving it? I came up with the idea of getting a scooter – it seemed to make total sense. 90 miles to the gallon. Much less maintenance than a car. So I went through with the motorcycle driving school and got myself a motorcycle license. I thought a scooter would be much easier to ride than a regular motorcycle. Turns out my gut was screaming “no, no, no, no, no!!” Every time I got on that thing, I felt this sense of foreboding, like it might be my last time.

One night, after practicing on very quiet side streets, I literally felt myself having trouble breathing and just about in tears. I felt the same sense of anxiety that I had felt when I first decided to leave my marriage. All the same doubts about myself.  That might sound melodramatic. Maybe it was a small panic attack. But this time, I listened to it. I know I’m going to lose money on this deal when I ultimately sell it (please God, let someone buy this pretty much new scooter in the spring!!)

The sixth sign is that you experience joyful exhaustion.  Some people think I’m crazy to be working two jobs right now since I make decent money at my full time one. In fact, they really thought I was crazy when I was also doing the freelance research on the book, as that was pretty much a third job. Yes, it was very exhausting and still is some days. I don’t always want to be spending an 8 hour day at the gym, folding mountains of laundered towels, and picking up dirty towels out of the bins. I didn’t always want to be opening the gym twice a week in September, at 5:30 a.m. But I also had this feeling that it was all going to be worth it in the end. It will be worth it when I get to work at a job that, while it will pay much less, will be much more fulfilling to me.

The seventh sign is that you feel light.  To quote the article “In your quiet moments, the times between actions, you have a lightness of being. You’re not burdened with existential anxiety. You may be preoccupied with how you’re going to achieve your dreams, but you’re not obsessively trying to figure out what they are. . . . Purpose may expand and evolve or completely change during a lifetime. As a result, these signs may make several reappearances.”  Oh wow. Does this describe me or what?? I can imagine at least a few of you out there laughing your ass off, out loud, reading this quote. I am definitely preoccupied (or healthily obsessed, one might say) with how I’m going to achieve my dreams of living a simple life with meaning and be able to make a difference in the lives of, or take care of animals.  And yes, your purpose can definitely change from time to time.

Someone is feeling pretty content in this picture.
Someone is feeling pretty content in this picture.

There are definitely times in my life when I feel light. There are times when I feel content, such as during those times that I find myself reading a good book in the quiet of my place, and I take a look around me at all of my sleeping animals, knowing they feel safe and secure enough to relax and let their guards down. And that’s when I know that each of the steps I’ve taken over the past few years to getting to where I am now, mentally and physically, are part of that ever expanding and evolving purpose.

What do you think about these signs? Do you agree with the Mind, Body, Green article?  Are there other signs that you think show you’re living your life with purpose? If so, what are they?

If you’ve liked this post, please hit like or subscribe below and as always, thanks for reading!

Little Things for Which I am Thankful

Terri

Hi everyone, sorry I didn’t get this regular post out last week. I started writing it and then had to get ready to go to a wedding, so yeah, that’s on my list!

1.  Went to a wedding of some good friends last week. Very cool, and all different types of music was played as well as Billy Idol’s White Wedding, which the DJ played as the bride and groom and their bridal party exited the ceremony! Gotta love it.

2. Some of you already know this, but yesterday was my Birthday!! Yes, my “something schmunthing| annivesary of 29. At least that’s what I sometimes call it.  But honestly, I’m not embarrassed by my age. It’s 42. Yep. Over the big 4-0. i have to be honest. Once you get past 40, it really doesn’t bother you as much. Well, maybe I can only speak for myself, but there you have it.

3. i am so grateful that Netflix finally got the fourth season of episodes of The Walking Dead. There aren’t  many shows that I will binge watch, but that is one of them. I watched it yesterday while it was raining and cold outside, and had a few animals snuggled up next to me. It was a really nice, relaxing day. I didn’t have anything planned on a schedule, just the way I wanted it. 🙂

4. I talked to the adoption supervisor for the animal shelter with whom I have volunteered in the past, the Animal Rescue League of Boston. This time, it was with the Dedham location. I’m hoping to start volunteering very soon with their barn animals or livestock animals. I’ll only be able to go once per week, but I’ll be able to help clean out their stalls/pens, as well as learn  how to groom them. I can’t wait! I seriously should have become a vet or a farmer if I hadn’t so stupidly gone to law school!

5. A gentleman just stopped into my office this afternoon and we have a mutual acquaintance/friend in common. It was great to discuss our mutual friend as we both have a huge respect for him. He told me that one of our Brazilian students had recommended he come by to meet me while he was in town. Wow, such a compliment. This same student told me that the mutual friend had asked the Brazilian students if they had met with me yet (he was in town pretty recently and took them all out to dinner.) He told them that if they hadn’t, or didn’t, they would regret it! This is a HUGE compliment for him to have given me, given his stature in his home country. But again, that’s just how he is. 🙂

6. I am so thankful for the advice and thoughts many of you left on my last post, about defining (and choosing) priorities. You’ve given me so much food for thought. I thank you very much.

7. Lastly, I am so thankful it’s FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!

If you have liked this post, please hit like or subscribe! Thanks for reading.

Defining (and choosing?) priorities

Terri
I just had to snap this photo of little Osito when she wore her new parka for the first time. She seems to really like it as it keeps her ears warm!
I just had to snap this photo of little Osito when she wore her new parka for the first time. She seems to really like it as it keeps her ears warm!

Editor’s note, written a few hours after the post was first published:

I had a follow-up appointment with my doctor’s office to see how I’m doing and feeling with cutting my Wellbutrin dosage in half. I’m happy to say, I’m doing pretty well, I think. And having cut out the Singulaire I take for my allergies-induced asthma, I’m breathing really well and clearly. Even ran outside yesterday and didn’t experience any wheezing afterward, like I used to do.  There is a medical student working there now, and she is from Seattle. She told me I can definitely can get work out in that area, and that yes, it really is possible to find a place to live there for about $700. She said things are definitely cheaper out there, and after having talked to her, I’m so jazzed, and leaning toward the PNW again. But I know, I need to keep an open mind and think everything through.

*******************************************

So, one thing I have learned over the past year or so is that I change my mind. Sometimes a lot. Enough that I am now somewhat making fun of myself when I tell my friends what my “newest” plan for next year is. I go from wanting an RV, to just having a tiny apartment, to wanting an RV, to wanting a tiny apartment or small place to rent. And well, after I put my post up about so many RVs to choose from, I spent a good week or so watching my animals, and I mean really watching them. Watching how they interacted with each other, when they seemed to be the most content, and how far apart from each other they might be at that time. And I realized a small travel trailer just isn’t going to be enough room for them. Not if I don’t want them to be in a constant state of stress, and if I don’t care to alleviate that, it makes me quite selfish and a horrible fur mom.  Two things I never want to be.

I’ve changed my mind about what I want to do with my life a few times – for about two years,  I thought I wanted to be a personal trainer. Enough so that I took two certification tests (the second being known for being extremely hard.)  However, I have realized that while I do like working out, and occasionally helping out friends, I don’t think the lifestyle is for me. It would have me inside all the time (or a majority of the time) and it can get kind of boring to do just do one-on-one training all the time. I see that in the face of my gym’s trainer.  (He’s a great trainer, don’t get me wrong, but I can imagine it gets boring to work with the same types of problems day after day.) Plus, I find it hard to justify spending the money myself for the sessions (and I get them at a discount) when I’m trying to save money and pay off debt. So how could I then be asking people to pay for my services?

On a sunny day like this one, you just HAVE to be outside even if there is a brisk chill in the air!
On a sunny day like this one, you just HAVE to be outside even if there is a brisk chill in the air!

I was interested in going to an outdoor awareness school at one point (in the PNW) but then, of course, reality started to set in. The program was $10K or so, and involved a few trips that would require me to leave the animals for at least a week or more. That, and while I love the outdoors, I really do like some creature comforts, like, a warm bed. One that doesn’t involve sleeping on the ground, constantly worrying about bugs crawling over me as I try to fall asleep. You get the picture. So that idea went out the window, but the one thing behind it stayed the same – I love to be outdoors, and it would be awesome to live in a place that values the outdoor lifestyle. And if I could find a place to work where I could be outside, or teaching others about nature, so much the better.

So my thought is now to work with animals. That’s always been part of my plan – to do more to help them, but now I want to make it part of my future career, to the extent I can. I have been researching into what it takes to be a veterinary technician, if I need to have an associates degree, etc. I’ve been looking into the various AVMA accredited programs and their locations, cost of living, etc. Still have a lot of research to do on that, but hey, it’s what I do!  If I do go that route, I want to cash flow it as much as possible and would plan on applying for as many scholarships as I am able to do.  And I hope that I can start to volunteer at either a vet’s office or clinic or even work with the livestock that the Animal Rescue League of Boston have at their Dedham location, so I can see what it might be like to work as a large-animal vet tech.

I’ve thought about living in the southwest, like NM, and the Pacific Northwest, and just last week, Colorado. What do they all have in common? Yep, the weather is better than in the northeast, and they all value outdoor lifestyles.  The weather is certainly different in all three places. But one thing I have held fast to, and even more so, as we have just changed our clocks back to not be on daylight savings, and as I saw *snow* flurrying this past Sunday along with 40 mph wind gusts, is I’m DONE with the New England weather and winters. DONE. When I rode my bike to work that morning (it’s either that or walk since the buses don’t run early enough), it was sleeting outside. It hurt my face, not to mention the wind was out of this world, making me very glad my bike has a motor and is a bit on the heavy side. And I thought to myself, yep, I am DONE with this weather. It’s way too early for this crap.

So, here are my priorities:

  1. Live simply. Regardless of what the home looks like, it’ll be just what I need and nothing more. It’ll be a lifestyle that allows me to take care of myself and my animals, and pay off my debts (eventually).
  2. Live someplace where an outdoor lifestyle is valued and desired. And where winters don’t force you inside for months on end because the weather is so miserable and nasty cold. There are so many things you can do for free in the natural world, hiking, running, biking, etc. Why sit inside and stare at a TV or computer screen when you can experience all of that?
  3. My animals need to be happy and have enough space to be so. I have found that most of the time, we are all within the same room and a half (my living room and bedroom alcove), with usually 4 of them being within arms’ reach of myself. So I think a place that is about 400-500 square feet is going to do us just fine. Maybe even someplace smaller.
  4. Find a community of like-minded people. People who are somewhat liberal minded and don’t care so much about appearances or that the almighty dollar is the thing to be worshipped. Living in the NE, I think it’s hard for some people to understand why I would leave a good paying job to do something that makes so much less, especially with all of my degrees. I don’t want to constantly feel like I have to explain my decision to do so.Around here, and especially where I work, I work with very driven students and people who have always strived to be at the top. Many are proud of saying the name of our institution and hearing people go “oohh, and aaahhh.”  The name of my employer means nothing to me. In fact, I even ask people to not hold it against me sometimes, as it can also have a negative connotation, at least in my mind. It can conjure up images of wealth and prestige and power. All things that I simply could care less about.

So, these are my priorities, and while I may change my mind about what I will ultimately end up doing, and where I may be, from time to time, I’m holding fast to them. If anyone knows of any places that fit the bill, I’m all ears, so please drop me a line or comment below.

And, as always, if you have liked this post, please hit like or subscribe! Thank you for reading.

Oh, and just one more pic of Baby O below because she is always just too cute for words, and really makes everyone smile when they see her on our walks.

This is her "old lady" red sweater, complete with flowers and everything. But, it's the perfect weight and thickness for the mild fall days when there is a brisk chill in the air.
This is her “old lady” red sweater, complete with flowers and everything. But, it’s the perfect weight and thickness for the mild fall days when there is a brisk chill in the air.

Little Things for Which I am Thankful

Terri

photo 1 (4)

I know these posts usually come out on a Friday, but I wanted to be able to write this post from a place of gratitude, you know? And that’s how I am feeling today. Yesterday, well, in the words of someone who commented on my blog recently, I was just “waiting until Friday.”

1. I was lamenting with a colleague how it seems like libraries have changed so much over the past few years. To me, they seem to have become very corporatized (well, some of them, anyway) and I look at my own library and see how it’s changed. When I started there, I was by far, the most inexperienced person. And I mean, BY YEARS, I was the least experienced. And knowledgeable. Now, I’m the one who has been in the department the longest. It’s scary, and it’s sad.

But, someone decided to make my day yesterday, and it came in the form of one of the reference librarians with whom I worked in the very beginning. Naomi came into the library yesterday for the first time since she had retired, back in 2006. She’s the only librarian in our library who has a plaque dedicated to her near the reference desk. At first when she walked in with her family, I asked “are you here for the reunion?” and then I looked at her and was like “oh my God, Naomi!!” and immediately ran at her.

That woman has probably forgotten more than I will ever learn in my life. She reminded me of a time in my job when I was always, always learning. You’d think you had exhausted every avenue you knew of, and every resource, and you’d go to one of the more senior librarians and ask, “is there anything I’m missing?” and inevitably they would come up with something. (I still have that today in a colleague or two, but it’s just not the same. When you add up all the years of experience in my department these days, we probably add up to about 1 to 1.75 of the library reference librarians’ experience before, and that was a big department of about 7.

When she left, her husband turned to me and said “you made her day,” and I said “no, she made mine.”  We just kept giving each other hugs.

2. I may be dating myself by bringing up this movie, but does anyone out there remember the movie, Legends of the Fall? Back from around 1994? You may remember it had Aidan Quinn and Brad Pitt and Anthony Hopkins? Well, there was a line in the movie where the old Native American says something about Brad Pitt’s character, Tristan, coming into the “quiet stage” of his life. That’s kind of how I felt earlier this week when we had all that rain, and the shortness of the daylight seemed to be strikingly obvious to me, much more so than normal. It made me really start to think about things and get some things sorted out in my mind. And I have felt kind of “quiet.” It’s kind of like the feeling that comes over me when all I can hear in the apartment is the sound of the bubbling pet water fountain and maybe a snoring animal or two. Like right now, as I sit here typing this, every single furball in this place is sound asleep. It’s a feeling of contentment, of just feeling like everything is right as it should be, right now.

3. I am grateful for having good friends and for having good friends who give me good advice. Not necessarily what I want to hear, but good advice in that it comes from a good place inside of them and because it’s honest.  One of them told me to think of my dreams or life as a sentence that you diagram – think about the big picture, and then see the parts that make up the whole. Think of what you want the end result to be, and then you’ll figure out how to get there.

4.  I am grateful that the weather today is absolutely gorgeous. The sun is out, and lots of people are walking and running around the reservoir out back. It’s one of those days where I wish we could just freeze the calendar and not move forward.

5. I am grateful for quiet, peaceful days like today, where there is nothing on the schedule unless I want it to be. So, I’m going to the movies tonight with my best friend and her husband. We’re a movie watching trio – Gone Girl is what we will be seeing. I’ve read the book, so I can’t wait to see how it translates to the big screen. Definitely one of those books that is hard to put down.

6. I am grateful for young adult fiction about vampires. Yes, I said it. There, I admit it!! It’s what I like to read! It allows me to escape into another world and reminds me of what I loved about reading as a child. I used to lose myself in books, and now I”m doing it again.

7. I am grateful for views like those pictured above. And for coming home and seeing my two boys, Max and Sebastian, curled up on the loveseat (see below.)  I wanted to sit there, but I don’t have heart to make them move. Could you??

Sleepy boys...
Sleepy boys…

What are you thankful for this week? Please drop me a line below. And if you’ve liked this post, please hit like or subscribe! Thanks for reading.

Nights like tonight…

Terri
My baby boy, Sebastian. Don't you just want to reach out and rub him or poke him in his belly?? :-)
My baby boy, Sebastian. Don’t you just want to reach out and rub him or poke him in his belly?? 🙂

Tonight is one of those nights in Boston where it’s dark before 6 (not that the sun ever showed its face today, anyway), and stormy, and you can hear the ever-constant gusting of the wind outside. I sit on my love seat near the window and look out at the branches at the tops of the very tall trees behind our building wave back and forth in the wind. It’s one of those nights where, if I still had a car, I would be very careful as to where I park it, lest a branch come down and land on the top of its roof, like I saw happen to someone else last year. It’s one of those nights where I sit and hold Osito in my arms and try to comfort her little chihuahua baby from shaking so much, and then I look around at my cats who are looking back at me, and I think of how blessed I am to have all of them to love, and protect from nasty weather like this, and people that don’t feel as kindly toward animals as I do. It’s one of those nights. Read more →

So many choices of RVs!!

Terri

There are just so many choices of RVs out there that at times I feel myself getting overwhelmed. Everyone tells me I’m in that exciting stage of things right now — the dreaming and research stage. And I agree, it’s definitely fun. But I seem to be changing my mind from month to month as to what I want. However, I think I have narrowed it down a bit by making one decision: I do NOT want to drive some huge, honking truck like a Yukon Denali or other. I just don’t feel comfortable driving such a large vehicle. Not to mention the gas that it would use on a daily basis. So…wanting to drive (at the largest end) a mid-size SUV like the Nissan xTerra helps me to narrow things down. (Very good if you are decision-impaired like me to have at least one decision sort of taken out of your own hands.)

A week and a half ago, I took a comp day from work so I could drive around to RV dealers. There is one RV dealer in all of New England who carries an expandable trailer called the Trail Manor, and they are on Cape Cod, about 90 minutes away from me. So that was the first place I went, thinking this could be the perfect solution for me. It’s lightweight (even the 2619 model has a dry weight of 2300 lbs), and doesn’t cause you to use more than one extra gallon per gas per 100 miles (or so they say.)  Because it’s an expandable trailer, you can have one that is 19-20 feet when rolled down, and 26 feet of living space when opened up. Great for me and all the furballs, right?? Well, maybe.

In a Trail Manor, I kind of feel like I’m camping. My friend, Dan, of WanderDano fame of YouTube, asked me if I thought that was a good thing or a bad thing, and I said both. At the same dealer, I checked out a more traditional travel trailer and was amazed at how much more permanent it felt. And I seemed to be drawn to that. Plus, there seemed to be a lot more storage, and many more electrical outlets. Granted, I’m not going to use every electrical appliance I own all at the same time, but unless I was missing something, I only counted four in the Trail Manor. The smallest model, the 2417, didn’t have a plug in the bathroom (what could they be thinking?) but the other models did. I’m a girl. I might need to have a plug in the bathroom, you know? 🙂 That, and I have to admit, storage is a big thing to me. From all that I have read, whatever storage you have in an RV, you never have enough. And, I honestly didn’t see a whole lot of storage capacity in the 2417. The larger models, the 2619 and 2720, I could picture maybe having enough room for all my stuff. (You have to remember, it’s not just my stuff, but that of the furballs I will be taking on this new life with me. For having such little bodies, the stuff you need to take care of them can really add up over time. Not that I am complaining, trust me, I’m not!)

So, the feeling of camping I mentioned? I like the idea of camping, but I also like the idea of permanence, even if it’s just what I am living in and carting around with me, at the same time. I thought about it, and I realized, my life is going to change in so many ways next year. I won’t have the same 9-5 job to go to every day. I won’t be living in this part of the country. If I do seasonal work, my surroundings are going to change every few months. And I’ve always needed a bit of security in my life. Ok, maybe more so than most.  That’s why the whole idea of changing my life is so exciting and at the same time, terrifying, to me.

The folks at the McD RV dealership were very nice and didn’t hover over me the whole time I was sitting in the RVs, trying to picture myself in them, long term. Not so much at the other places I went to. From there, it was on to Camping World of Berkeley,  where I was disappointed that most of the travel trailers were locked. Yep, I’m assuming that they, and most dealers, do this so you have to go ask a salesperson for help. And I didn’t want that that day – I just wanted to look inside, see the setups, see how stable or not-so-stable they felt as I stood in them. I was able to get into one trailer at Camping World, and really liked what I saw. Then I found out it was over 5000 pounds, dry-weight, so I high tailed it out of that one! No use falling in love with something you’re not gonna marry, right?

So my trip to Camping World took all of, oh, 25 minutes, and that included my trip to the ladies’ room upon arrival to change out of some of my layers. (The weather is fickle in New England, a day can start out cold and warm up like you wouldn’t believe, even at the end of September.)  I then went to a place called Campers Inn, where I was able to get into one, count it, one, travel trailer. And with my friend Dan’s help, I realized it was not even on their website, so I had no idea of how much it cost. Every single other trailer was locked, and even though some of the employees saw me, no one even bothered to ask if I wanted or  needed help. So, that was another quick visit.

I then went to Bradford RV, which was just a few miles down the road. Again, the same thing. Everything locked. Except that this time, the salesperson saw me try to open the door to an ultra-lite (by Forest River) and came out to greet me. He asked me a few questions, and some look that I can’t describe came over his face (albeit briefly) once he asked if my budget was under 10K, and I said yes. I think at this point, he thought he was being generous in showing me two different RVs, one a 16 foot model and one a 17 foot model, the cheapest of which was 12K, brand-new. He hovered the entire time, so I probably spent all of ten minutes there. He checked over the inventory of their other location to see if they had any used RVs in my price range, but no such luck.

At this point, it was somewhere around 3:30ish, so I decided to go to one more RV dealer before heading for home. My zipcar was due back at 7, and I needed to give myself a good buffer of time to get back to Boston with the rush hour traffic. (Yes, rush hour begins around 3:30 in these here parts, and yes, in case you are wondering, it does suck. Big time. Part of why I am looking to move from the big city!)

Finally, there was a dealer willing to talk to me as if I had a brain in my head, in Plainville, MA.  He spent a lot of time with me discussing hitches, amps, 12v batteries, etc.  (And when I wanted to take pics inside of a trailer, he said “you don’t need me in this picture, I’ll get out of your way!”) I went to this dealer because I knew they carried the R-Pod and I really wanted to see what they looked like on the inside. It’s one thing to see the pictures but another completely to see them in person. We talked for a while about them, and how I wanted a smaller travel trailer but that the R-Pod was definitely out of my price range.

So he showed me a 2000 Fleetwood Mallard 19N (click here for some stock photos of the same model) that was 19 feet long, and I really liked most of what I saw. It was a bit dated, but I expected that (designs on the mirrored front of the cabinets over the bed). It didn’t have a sink in the bathroom, which I admit, I want. I don’t like the idea of having to leave the bathroom to wash my hands in the kitchen sink, or to brush my teeth in the kitchen sink, all the time. That’s just me. But other than that, I liked it. And the price was right–$5,950, and they would be willing to store it for free for me until April. So…why didn’t I jump at it?? The weight. Its dry weight was already 3897 lbs, and with full tow capacity, the dealer estimated it would be about 5600 lbs. Meaning I’d need a vehicle with at least 6000 lbs towing capacity, and honestly, I’m not comfortable with having an engine working so hard. So, when push came to shove, and Dan helped me with my pro/con list and talking over my priorities (he let me come to all my own conclusions), I decided to not go for this one. The right one will come to me, he keeps assuring me. I believe him. I’ve just got to get better at the patience thing. As in, getting some….the only thing stopping me from going out and buying an RV right now, is: where do I put it?? 🙂

I have to admit…I’m really loving the idea of a molded fiberglass travel trailer like a Casita or a Scamp these days…yes, I know they are smaller, but they are lightweight, and there’s no unfolding to do, and they’re white on the inside (white is a big thing to me, I hate the look of all wood, especially dark wood.)  Whenever I sit inside of a travel trailer, I try to imagine where each of my animals would feel most comfortable, and where I would put the litterbox(es), so that I wouldn’t trip over them. My friend Dan suggested I take a bunch of stuffed animals with me and throw them all over the place to get an idea of what it would be like with all the furballs. He may just be onto something, LOL.

I have to admit, every time I go to look at RVs, it’s like another part of the dream is becoming real, slowly, oh, so slowly…I’m getting there…

I know that some of you out there are RVers, so I’d love to hear your thoughts (and even if you’re not RVers, please feel free to comment.)

As always, if you’ve liked this post, please hit like or subscribe! 🙂

 

Little Things for Which I am Thankful

Terri
Doesn't my baby girl Osito look like she's smirking?? :-)
Doesn’t my baby girl Osito look like she’s smirking?? 🙂

You know how it feels when you wake up one morning and you feel a little tickle in your throat that wasn’t there the night before? Yep…happened to me on Tuesday. I went to work anyway, thinking, ok, maybe I can get through this without it becoming worse. We have all this leftover candy in one of my colleague’s office (from an event) so I felt like a 70 year old Wilford Brimley, sucking on Worthers’ Originals all day long.  (If you don’t know what I’m referring to here, well, please don’t tell me and make me feel old…) While they tasted good, they didn’t do squat to fight a cold. So…I took the next two days off while the cold went into my chest and then into my head. I still have it now, but it’s much more manageable. Nothing that a lot of cold medicine and sleep can’t  help!

Here’s just a sampling of what I am thankful for this week:

1. I am so thankful that I had over 60 days of sick time saved up so I was able to be paid for those days off. Not everyone can. At least my head doesn’t feel like it wants to explode from the pressure today, anymore.

2. You know how animals always know when something is off with their human (slave?) Mine are no exception. As Mom needed to sleep, they burrowed in next to me both days. I felt very loved.

Don't worry, Mom, snuggles will make you feel better.
Don’t worry, Mom, snuggles will make you feel better.

3. How well my building is maintained. When I got sick, I finally got the energy up to take a shower, only to find that I had no hot water. The guys in my  building figured out the problem pretty quickly, and wow, did the hot steam from the shower make me feel a ton better!

4.Still thankful that October is a 3 paycheck month!! I have paid about $1167 on my student loan this month so far, and I would like to pay a bit more if I can! Just seeing the balance go down to the $13K range feels freaking awesome!

5. This weekend is the pretty famous Head of the Charles Regatta, where crew teams from all over compete. I was able to sit and watch them practice yesterday for a few hours. If you have never seen how powerful the big 8-man/woman boats appear to be when watching a really good team work together, you don’t know what you’re missing! It’s pretty inspiring. They are one of my favorite parts about Boston – whenever I run around the Charles on morning runs, seeing them row by always gives me a little boost of motivation to keep on going.

6. Being home sick and not having a TV, what’s a girl to watch, other than Netflix and YouTube? I ended up watching several videos of people talking about minimalism and budgeting, and I’m even more jazzed than ever at keeping a lid on my expenses and seeing just how low can I go.

So, this morning, I woke up, and really wanted to make a smoothie to use up some food in my fridge. Problem is, I don’t have a blender anymore. I found that I didn’t really use the large blender that often, like I had used my single serving blenders in the past. (Unfortunately, both were on the cheaper side and lasted less than one year.) So, this morning, I ordered the Nutribullet through Target, and it’s ready and waiting for me to pick it up later today. Hello, healthier-eating-me! Hello, less wasting of food! Hello, green smoothies! (It’s a bit more expensive but it seems to have a lot more power than the others did, so here’s hoping…)

7. I heard from my author the other day – she has more work for me to do! Not a ton, but hey, every little bit helps!  Working for her helps me to justify/rationalize the purchase of an Asus Transformer T100 which I should be receiving through Amazon this weekend, yay! (Quick explanation – my chromebook is not compatible with Microsoft Office, and I need some of the extra functionality of Word that Google Docs doesn’t give me.)  This is a purchase that I think will pay for itself over time, if I can get some online work to supplement any kind of workamping or physical work I will end up doing. For people like me living on a budget (or at least trying to), it gets good reviews.

A view of all the crew teams lined up, ready to practice on the Charles River, before the Head of the Charles Regatta.
A view of all the crew teams lined up, ready to practice on the Charles River, before the Head of the Charles Regatta.

What are you thankful for this week? Please drop me a line below! Also, hit like or subscribe if you’ve liked this post, and thanks for reading!

Little Things for Which I am Thankful

Terri
Osito says "I know what you're thinking right now. I am just way too cute for words..."
Osito says “I know what you’re thinking right now. I am just way too cute for words…”

 

1. I took the day off on Monday as comp time for having worked six days in a row the week before at my full time job. We have this really cool option to rent cars in Boston through something called ZipCar. You don’t have to pay for the gas you use (you use their gas card and enter in some information) and you get 180 free miles per day. So I used it on Monday and drove around to five different RV dealers to look at all different types of RVs. It really helped me to figure out some priorities as to what I want in an RV. Also, I had the help of two very good online friends who are more knowledgeable when it comes to RVs than I am.  D and R, you guys know who  you are. Thank you!! (I’ll save the particulars of what I discovered for another post, because I really want to talk about it in more detail than this type of post will normally allow.)

2. I no longer have to regularly open up the gym on weekday mornings, and what a difference it has made in my energy levels! I am now back to my normal routine of being able to work out every day before work. And what a difference it has made to my morale and self-esteem. I’m happy to again be doing some of my harder “Terri workouts” that I use to put myself through. God, I cannot tell you how much I have missed working out hard! (If you’re one of those people who hates to work out or sweat, well, then you can just consider me a weirdo. No offense taken!)

3. The weather has returned to being cooler, more autumn-like in New England. Lots of leaves have fallen, which makes me kind of sad, because I know what is following in its wake (the dreaded winter), but it also creates such a homey, nesting type of atmosphere. Osito loves the cool weather for our walks, I can tell. She has an extra spring in her step, and Wednesday night, she even appeared to be running!  When your dog is 13 years old AND blind, and she starts running, you can’t help yourself but be happy. I just get such a huge smile on my face when I see her doing that. I usually yell out “You’re running, Baby O! You’re running!” (To which she is probably thinking, “duh…Mom, I know that already!”)

4. I’m feeling good enough about my moods that I have asked my doctor if we can start weaning me off of one of my anti-depressants. I take Prozac and Wellbutrin. Why two different pills? Well, they go to different receptors in the brain. Prozac has a very long half-life so that means that if you were to stop taking it cold turkey (which you really shouldn’t), it would stay in your system for about 5-6 weeks. The half life for Wellbutrin is much shorter, so I was told I could even start taking it every other day, since the one I have been taking is a tablet with timed release. I was a bit nervous to do something that seemed so drastic, so we are just cutting my dose down slowly, and the pill I am now taking is only 75 mg, and it’s not time-released. So we will see how it goes!

I think I am past that point in my life when I needed the wellbutrin. I started taking it to help me with the side effects of Prozac when I was on a high dosage for Prozac. (High doses can sometimes make you feel very “flat” – in other words, you just don’t give two craps about much at all. Everything is very “meh.”)  Whatever stressor was bothering me at the time is no longer there,  so wish me luck! It is my hope that by next fall, I will not be taking any medication for my asthma (something else we are slowly weaning me off of), and probably down to just one prescription.  It will cost me a lot less if I am successful, and also, I’d like to just take as few medications as I possibly can.

5. This weekend is the final weekend of the Topsfield Fair, and you know what that means!! (Well, actually, you don’t, but you’re about to!) That’s right, folks, think of it….Deep Fried Oreos!!! Seriously, the best thing ever in the world. It’s good enough that I salivate all year just thinking of it. 🙂  The fair also means I get to pet lots of farm animals, and see the Guiness World Record setting pumpkin – that’s right, they judge that every year in this little corner of MA.

6. Oh, I almost forgot!!! I paid $750 on my LAL loan earlier this week since this is one of those 3-paycheck months at my full time job!! So now the balance is down to $14, 017 and some change. With the next regularly scheduled payment on the 16th, that bad boy is going down below 14K!!!! Die, bastard, die!!!

7. At my part-time job, we made our sales goals for the past month, so I’m hoping to wake up to a bonus in my savings account as a result. I’ll update this post if it happens!

Have a great holiday weekend (if you’re reading this in the US and are one of the lucky ones to get Columbus Day as a holiday.)  If you’ve liked this post please hit like or subscribe! Or drop me a line below!

 

 

 

 

Why I Keep On Keeping On: Life is Just Too Short

Terri

A friend of mine posted a video on Facebook earlier today and it just reaffirmed my decision to keep taking steps every day toward realizing my dream. Even if some days it’s just a small step, it still counts. Because some days, you take huge steps. Like this past Monday, when I went to five different RV dealers so I could take a look at a variety of travel trailers. Some conventional, some expandable. I’ll explain what conclusions those visits helped me come to in a later post, but first, I want to share this video with you:

Woman with Terminal Brain Cancer Decides to End Her Life Nov. 1  

When I hear stories like this, and think of how many more years I have been fortunate to live than someone like this woman, it makes me feel a few different emotions: gratitude (there but for the grace of God, go I); sympathy for this woman and her family; regret at having wasted so many years of my life living the way I thought I *should* live it, thinking that the only measure of success in this world was to achieve the conventional ideas of what is a successful life. You know, being married, having a house, a good paying and stable job, etc.

“Seize the Day. What’s Important to You? What Do You Care About? What Matters? Forget the Rest.”

These are all statements made by Brittany Maynard toward the end of this video.  Think about them, and I mean, really think about them. And then, do something about them.

I spent so many years of my life just *thinking* about what I might want to do, but that’s all I ever did was think about my dreams. Didn’t take any action beyond the dreaming part. I kept myself in debt. Kept trying to ignore that little nudge my insides would give me when I felt like something was missing, but was too afraid to really figure out what that was.  What I knew was safe, and safe was supposed to be ok. It was supposed to be enough. And a few years ago, it just wasn’t.

A few years ago, I was terrified I couldn’t make a go of things on my own. But I did. I have been terrified to make mistakes in the past, and let myself stay rooted in place. Toward the end of this summer, as you know, I bought a scooter. It was a mistake, and one that really stressed me out there for a few weeks and I felt a lot of self-loathing for having been so stupid. And then I realized I was beating myself up for being human. I made a mistake. I could keep beating myself up about it, or I could learn from it, and try to move forward. (And hope that I can sell it in the spring when people are more likely to buy one.)

Life is too short to keep beating yourself up. So, don’t do it. Life is too short for fear to be given the power to hold you in one place. So don’t let it. Life is too short to keep caring what other people think about you and let their opinions form the way you life your life. So stop caring.  Life is too short to waste it by doing things you don’t want to do. So stop doing them. Start doing what you want to do. Start doing what you love. Start doing what makes you happy.  

When you’re outside and see something beautiful, really take it in. Really absorb it and see how it makes your heart feel. How it expands. How it makes you feel at peace. That’s what I do when I hear the wind blowing through the leaves of the trees. That’s what I do when I see the waves the wind causes on the reservoir while out walking with Osito.  It’s why I get such a huge smile on my face when I see my 13 year old, blind dog start running on our walk, with no fear whatsoever.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to look at freelance jobs for research and writing. Because they are two things I’m good at, and want to be able to do next year when I’m living on the road. And to read a book that has really sucked me in, because it’s something I love to do. Read, and expand my mind.  Reading takes me into another world. It’s something I would like to do for others.  And I write this blog now because it’s something  I love to do. Writing is cathartic to me. It helps me to say things I might not otherwise be able to express. And to connect with others, hopefully.

Thank you so much for reading. Please leave me a comment below if you have any thoughts on the topic, or hit like or subscribe.