On making decisions: learning, writing and living

Image from pixabay.com

I have definitely been decision-impaired at times in my life.  Paralysis by analysis is one term with which I have been intimately familiar.  I’ve also been known to research and research and research, thinking that if I have that one last strand of information, I can make a decision and feel confident about it. But I know what that is — it’s another form of procrastination, in disguise.  Because the thing is, sometimes you just have to make decisions in life and then go with it, dealing with the results or consequences as they may fall.

On Learning:

One thing I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, and I think I may have mentioned it in an earlier post, is to cease school after this semester.  I have loved the classes I have taken so far feel like I’ve learned a lot, and met some people with whom I’ve really connected, but it is a matter of $$$.   (I hate that money can have such an effect on our lives but feel it is inescapable sometimes.)

On Writing:

The courses I’ve taken over the past two semesters have taught me the value of language.  I am so much more cognizant of the words and tone I use now.  Through the animal protection classes, I have again experienced such physiological effects as I read through some assignments, that I know in my heart, I am meant to do something in my life where animals are concerned.

I also know in my heart that I am meant to use my writing skills for good.  I was born with them for some reason, and have realized I can really move people sometimes by the words I choose and subsequent images I create in their mind.  I’ve recently pictured myself traveling around to animal sanctuaries around the country, talking to their founders or workers in an effort to spread the word about their good deeds.

Having worked at an animal sanctuary for even only six months, I know how how much work it involves, and how exhausting it can be.  There is precious time available at the end of the day to self-promote or market or attempt to raise funds in order to continue doing such beneficial work.

Consequently, I’ve been thinking of ways to help those sanctuaries in a way that can be sustainable for myself, i.e., help to ultimately create an income. One thing I’ve mentioned in the past is grant writing and recently, conversations with my sister-in-law, Geneva (writer extraordinaire behind It’s Not a Slow Car, It’s a Fast House) have reminded me of that as an option.  In a way, grant writing is one form of marketing the positive qualities of an organization.

As with anything, every choice involves compromises. 

Grant proposals require the power of persuasion, writing and research skills.  One thing law school teaches you is how to construct an argument and to see situations from multiple angles, how to acknowledge your weaknesses but in the best, most positive light.  Being a reference librarian requires kick-ass research skills and a thirst for knowledge and learning.  Humane education also teaches you these similar skills but also provides you with a base of knowledge that law school and library work don’t encompass.

I’ve also thought of creating a directory of sorts for animal sanctuaries in the country as part of my dream of visiting and talking with many of them. (I need to see if something of the type already exists, and if so, what hasn’t been covered by such a resource.)

One reason why these ideas appeal to me is because they would allow me to spend more time with my animals.  It pains me to leave them every day that I have to go to work for 7-8 hours at a time.  They are my world!

On Living Choices:

Any occupation involving animals usually doesn’t pay well.  I’ve known this and have changed many of my habits and routines to accommodate this.   Moving forward, if I were to support myself with my writing, I would need to keep my living costs as low as possible.

My friend Dan has had conversations with me ad nauseum about what it’s like to live out of a small abode and with cats.  (Bless him, he’s still my friend!)  Geneva has also had many of those conversations with me.  I’ve gone back and forth between loving the small travel trailers like Scamps and Casitas, versus motorhomes such as a small Class C or a Class B like his Pleasureway or even a van that has been converted into a tiny mobile home.  I’ve also been considering what it would be like to buy something like a shuttle bus (14 passenger or so) and convert that into a mobile home.

I’ve decided that if I eventually turn nomadic in my living situation, a travel trailer won’t work.  Cats are creatures of routine and habit and really don’t like change.  To have to put them in carriers every time I go somewhere is not a great life for them. And if I am going to be a solo female traveling, a mobile living vehicle makes the most sense, both in terms of money as well as safety and convenience.  If a situation or location doesn’t feel right to me, being able to jump quickly into the driver’s seat will be important.  Having a space for the animals to call their own and have a cat tree of sorts will be necessary.

If I end up in a stationary setting for whatever occupation I ultimately find myself in, it will involve living tiny and simply.  Of that much, I am sure.   Until then, I find myself saving as much money as I can.

So what does this all mean and involve?

It means I will need to, again, embrace my fears and push through them.  It means I need to really focus myself on continuing to build skills and have the confidence in myself to start promoting them.  It means talking to a lot of people in Florida at the upcoming APHE Conference and finding out if my ideas are viable options to pursue. It means I need to put myself out there and quite possibly, face a lot of rejection.

But I also might find out a lot about myself in those processes and meet some really great people doing some highly valuable and beneficial work.

The saying, “Life is a journey” can be very overused, but in my case, it is certainly true.

Question for you, the reader:

thank you to those who have made it this far in my post!  Here is my question to you:

Do you know of animal organizations or sanctuaries that might benefit from having someone like me reach out to them and see if partnering up on a grant proposal or other form of marketing might be beneficial? 

A few readily spring to mind for me already but I am always interested in learning of others.

Thanks, as always, for reading. And remember, it’s good to share if you think someone can benefit from reading this post and/or connecting with me.

Staying motivated, journalling, side hustling, and goal setting.

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Do you feel inspired when you see a blank sheet of paper like in this photo above? Or does it stress you out?

I don’t know about a lot of you but I journal just about every day.  A blank page in a notebook is actually exciting to me because writing helps me to stay grounded and focus on what is going on in this befuddled brain of mine and put things in some semblance of order. Below is the abbreviated version of the thoughts rumbling around in my head for the past week or so.

Side hustling:

I haven’t been blogging as much over the past week or so because I’ve been doing a lot of transcribing for my friend Elaine.  Have to do the side hustle work when you can get it!  None of that time is wasted as I am continuing to learn about topics of which I knew almost nothing about beforehand. The day I stop learning is a day I never want to experience!

I am continuing to do the Proofread Anywhere class with the goal of eventually being able to do that as freelance income. It’s actually helping me to become a better writer.  I’m re-learning a lot of grammar rules that I forgot so long ago.  So while it may appear that by going through those exercises, I’m digressing from my other goals, I don’t see it that way.  I see them all melding together in a beneficial way.

Changes to finance goals:

With the new tax bill providing me with a whole $15 per pay check (note the sarcasm), I decided to increase my 401(k) contribution to 8% of my paycheck.  An additional $9 per paycheck, but as anyone knows when saving for long term goals, every little bit helps.  Plus, the government gets $1 less per paycheck this way if my calculations are correct.  Every extra dollar for me is a dollar less for them, so I’m okay with that!

I’ve learned that many of my coworkers (including my boss) don’t have a 401(k) set up yet and the thought of that scares the bejesus out of me, to be my age (45) and not have anything saved up.  That was the situation with my mom – never had a 401(k) and I REFUSE to let that become me.

I am starting to plan on paper for what I want to happen over the next 12 months, monetarily-wise.  That involves making some good headway on my auto loan, of which the balance is currently $4,079.12.  My monthly payment has been $141.42.  I plan on increasing that to about $155/month.  That way, I have made at least one extra payment on it by the end of the year.

I’m revamping my budget to see where things can be cut and how I can save more money on things like groceries.  Becoming a full vegan will help, as a lot of the junk foods that I used to eat would contain things like cheese or milk  chocolate, so I will be eating better as well. I’ve taken my lunch to work for years, but now it involves a salad pretty much every day and I’m learning ways to make the salad more filling (using tofu, adding peanuts, etc.) so I’m less likely to snack during the day or crave something that isn’t good for me.  And really – veggies and other produce don’t have to be expensive if you are careful.

I have decided I really need to live by a budget if I am going to get ahead.  A future post will lay it all out.  I need accountability partners for it!

Writing goals:

Due tomorrow for my Writing for Social Change class is a plan regarding what project I want to work on for the semester, with the goal of having something to publish.   I’ve decided to write a memoir, and I’m learning that it’s definitely different than writing your autobiography.  (That’s a good thing because my autobiography could probably be used by people who suffer from insomnia.  They wouldn’t need any sleep aid after that! LOL).

From all the memoirs I’ve read, I’ve learned something.  Also, I have realized that writing this blog is kind of like writing my memoir in a way.  With each of my posts, I hope to touch someone’s heart or soul and inspire.  That’s why I share as much as I do in my posts.  I want to give words or comfort to someone else who might have experienced the same as me or had the same thoughts as me, but who just can’t put those into words.

By tomorrow, I need to and shall have a schedule prepared for just how I plan to accomplish that over the next few months. It is going to involve a lot of my telling my inner editor to Shut the F Up! 🙂  I am not sure yet how it will all unfold but I do know that animals will probably play a prominent role in my writing of it. My pets and my love for animals are behind so many of my decisions.

Accountability Partner:

I have already asked my friend Dan if he would like to be a reader of mine for my memoir.  He knows me very well and will be able to tell if what I’ve written just doesn’t sound like something I would say, or if something is coming across to the reader in one way but is meant to be understood in a different way.  He’s always been blunt with me about things, and sometimes I even ask him to play devil’s advocate.  He’s the one who tells me to “Focus, focus, focus!!” when I start telling him about all of my goals and thoughts and they seem to be bouncing all over the place.  I need that, trust me!  By the way, if you want to follow him on youtube, he is known as Wander Dano.  After watching his recent video on why he chose his Class B, I have to say, he really has me thinking about saving up for one.

Thank you:

I wanted to thank those of you who have written comments or sent me messages about my dad.  He died on Sunday morning, ten years to the day that his younger brother died from early-onset Alzheimers.  It is for the best, and all of my siblings and I will be converging at Boston in the very beginning of March for his wake service.  He is being cremated so it can be pushed back until then.  Although the circumstances suck, it will be really good to see my friends again and to have all five of us together again.

Below is a picture of all of us at my brother’s wedding this past May.  In case you’re wondering, I’m the short girl standing next to the really tall guy in the suit!!

 

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We range in age from 44 (the groom) to 58 – if you ask me, I think we look pretty damn good for our ages!! My oldest brother, Mike, is on the right, and is currently overlanding through South America with his wife, Geneva.  (And yes, “overlanding” is a real word.)  You can read about their adventures at It’s Not a Slow Car, It’s a Fast HouseHe will be flying to Boston from Nicaragua.  His wife, Geneva, writes most of the posts and she is a great writer, so please check out their blog.  You’ll learn a lot!  Living an unconventional life appears to agree with him, wouldn’t you say?

What kinds of activities do you do to ground yourself?  How do you make plans or do you make plans on a yearly basis, or longer or shorter?  Anyone out there willing to be an accountability partner with me about any of my goals?  Especially my financial ones??  Please comment below!!

This post has already become much longer than I planned, so as always, I thank you for reading.  Please share it if you think it will help someone else out, or resonate with someone.

 

 

 

 

Inspiring Stories: Don’t wait until everything is all set – take a step of faith

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Image courtesy of pixabay.com

I will be compiling a lot of videos and stories of people I find inspiring on separate pages, but thought I might discuss some of them individually as I go along. What inspires me might not inspire you and vice versa.  And what inspires me can change from one day to another.  But hopefully we can find some common ground!

Anyway, the other day on YouTube, I came across the story of a lifetstyle photographer named James Barkman.  He’s 22 and lives in his Westfalia van and tows a motorcycle behind it so that he can save money on gas and get to locations that he might not otherwise be able to reach with the van.  His website is Jamesbarkman.com.

As my brother and sister in law can attest, VW vans can have a lot of problems as they age and so if you own one, you will inevitably learn a lot about doing maintenance on it.  (They are the creators behind the blog, It’s Not a Slow Car, It’s a Fast House, and are currently on an overland trip that is leading them to South America.) Everyone who has talked about living in a van and is realistic about it discusses the fact that it can be frustrating and super stressful at times, and at other times, they feel like it’s entirely worth the stress and aggravation they go through. James Barkman mentions that in his video too.

In the beginning of the video, and again at the end, he discusses pursuing your dreams before you have everything set in place.  I take that to mean that you can’t wait until is perfect and you feel like you have all your bases covered to take that leap of faith.  He also mentions that wherever you are, or whoever you are with, be there with all your heart. And “be whoever you’re created to be.”  Don’t let fear run your life.

Looking back, I’ve done that at times, most recently, when I moved to Albuquerque without a job, but with the faith that I would bust my butt to get one (and I did!)  As many of you know, I aspire to live tiny, and I’ve recently begun fantasizing again about living in the Pacific Northwest.  I just really miss living near a large body of water, and I actually like the gray days we  get here in ABQ, though they are few and far in between.

I found the cinematography of this video to be pretty amazing.  Please let me know your thoughts by dropping a comment below!  As always, thanks for reading!

And, by the way thank you to those of you who have been using my Amazon affiliate link and Ebates referral link!!  Every little bit helps!

 

 

(re)discovering myself

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Bonkers and Osito, hanging out next to me at the dinette – the love I feel for them is just overpowering sometimes. They truly are my kids.

You may have noticed that I sometimes post a lot more than at other times. Sometimes a blog post feels like it’s forcing its way outside of me, and other times, it feels like it can take forever to get one completed. It’s those ones that I sometimes even wonder “is it worth it to hit the Publish button?” So yes, my writing can go in spurts, both on the blog and otherwise.

My very wise friend, Dan, said to me last week that life can sometimes be like working on a puzzle. You can be going along, really well, finding one piece after another that fits in, and then all of a sudden, you can hit a point where nothing happens. Or you question why you are doing something, and get really frustrated when you can’t find that next piece. You might have little sections of the puzzle done, but the whole thing just isn’t falling into place. He’s always coming up with good sayings and then thinks to himself, “I should write this down” so this time, I’ve done it for him. (In fact, I told him that day, I just might have to use his analogy.) So there you go, Dan, your words are in print. 

At the time of our conversation, I was feeling quite down after having returned home from a trip to Vegas. Just a quick trip, but it made me feel alive again – there were lots of people there! And a CVS and a Walgreens! (And yes, I thought it was pretty sad that seeing those two stores made me feel like I was in *city life* again.)  Anyway, I digress.

I’d like to share a video with you of one of my favorite youtube channels. Brittany is a nomad and a minimalist (much more so than I could ever be, as sometimes she lives out of a backpack), but this was one of her more raw type of videos and it just really spoke to me, especially as I contemplate making more changes in my life.

My friend Dan is very wise, especially as we have only met in person once and that was during my cross-country road trip when me and all of my furballs crashed his place for two nights. He told me he thinks I’m basically two people.  And he is so right.

There is a part of me that really wants to get out and see things and experience new things and places. A part of me that constantly needs to be working toward something, a new goal, or a new plan. It’s what gets me up and keeps me feeling “up” when otherwise I might feel down or feel like I’m just treading water in place. And then there is this other part of me that needs to feel structure or feel *safe* and feel like there is enough money to do things. The part that worries about not being able to take care of my furballs or that if I do make a choice and it doesn’t work out, then I’ve screwed myself financially.

I take contentment in so many things – seeing my furballs all hanging out on the bed in my RV with the space heater blasting away, knowing they all feel comfortable enough to snooze. Dressing my little Osito in her sweater for the day when she first wakes up, so that in case the temps fall in the RV while I am at work, she can still stay warm and snuggly.

But then, there is this part of me that thinks, “there is still a lot out there for me to see and learn, and do.” It’s not FOMO (fear of missing out) but a curiosity, I think. The two are different. That’s the part of me that listens to this video of a popular RVer blogger, Becky Schade, (from Interstellar Orchard) when she was interviewed a couple years ago, and draws so much inspiration from it. She’s younger than me and wise beyond her years, and yes, I may have shared it before, but in my mind, it bears re-sharing again.

This *safe* part of me is the one that was so scared to make this last big change in my life. It’s the part that listened to all the concerns of others and let those concerns creep into my own mind. That’s the part that misses the fact that last year I had off between Christmas and New Year’s, and made so much more money. That’s the part that still occasionally asks “what the HELL are you doing, living on so little, being so far from home, having to work on New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day?!” That’s the part that doesn’t even feel like it’s the holidays time of year since I’ve done no shopping at all (just sending money to the nieces and nephews, and even those amounts are pitifully small but they are all I can handle right now.) That’s the part that looks back and says (along with so many who hear my story), you left HARVARD LAW to come and scoop poop?

And yes, that is the first time I’ve mentioned publicly on this blog where I used to work. Some of you already knew that, but I’ve now taken a big breath and decided to put it out there. I know all the images the big red H conjurs up with every mention of its name. I know. But I don’t regret leaving. And no, the place was not perfect. Far from it. And no, I didn’t go to school there either (that’s a usual question I get asked.) In fact, I got rejected from there pretty instantaneously upon having applied. So I always found it a bit ironic that I was then deemed good enough to teach their students how to find things. But I digress, and I’m going to jump off of that soapbox now before I start to aggravate myself.

So, now, I’ve gone ahead and made such a big change, and while I feel a bit disappointed in that it doesn’t seem to be THE place for me to be in this world, I do know that I CAN do something a lot of people are afraid to do. A lot of people are afraid to step outside of what is the *normal* or *expected* way of life. But now I’m wondering, where exactly should I be right now, and what should I be doing? It’s that part of me that envies those I know in my life who are willing to jump in and do something adventurous. The part that looks to what my younger brother did when he would make these huge life changes, and the part that sees what my brother and sister in law are doing with traveling the world (and you can read about it by reading their blog, It’s Not a Slow Car, It’s a Fast HouseAnd  yet, even then that fearful, compare-yourself-to-others voice makes itself be heard – “but they know so much more about cars, which you don’t….”

As my friend Dan has recognized in me, I am desperately trying to find my place in this world. And as he always reminds me, I need to take a breath. It will eventually come to me, or happen.

So, in Brittany’s words – “what is it that you think you can’t do? What would be too good to be true?” Please drop me a line below and share your thoughts.  For me, right now, I think it’s to workamp starting next summer, and to always be in a place that is warm and doesn’t get snow. So it would entail moving with the seasons (or to someplace like southern California) and to do that, I need a different camper. And believe me, I go back and forth in my mind over those scenarios over and over and over again, as to which is better for me to do. Over and over, ad nauseum.

I hope you will all have a great holiday week and stay safe if you are traveling somewhere.  And as always, thanks for reading.

P.S. Yes, this is one of those posts that required me to inhale and take a VERY deep breath before hitting that Publish button. Also one that needed to be written.

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