Just a short post this morning but one that I feel like I need to make. When I write a post, it’s because an idea has been gnawing at me for a bit. Either that, or I start writing in my journal and the need to write about it here overtakes me.
I saw this video yesterday – you may have already, but it bears seeing again. It’s amazing how differently we see ourselves than how others see us. One day I was at the gym, and I commented to this one girl that I wished I was thin like her, and that I didn’t look like the hulk because of the strength work that I do. Now, I know I’m not the Hulk in actuality but I do have a stockier build. My body is strong in many ways, and for that, I am very glad and proud. But I still look at other women some days and think, wow, I wish I had thin legs like they do. And lately, with my stomach, I think if you had me draw a picture of myself or describe myself, I would describe myself with a belly that appears bloated. Like one of those women who when you look at them, you wonder “are they? or aren’t they? [pregnant]” and you don’t say something because you don’t want to offend them. A friend of mine recently told me that she thought it my stomach was just one of those areas from which some women can’t lose the weight. That’s how I know it’s real.
Thing is – if I want to be a trainer, I can’t have a stomach like that because folks who don’t know what a hernia looks like (and I’m not sure I even do now) will think that I have a weight problem in my abdomen. They’ll be able to see that my oblique muscles are pretty well defined, and on their way to having what women would call a six-pack, save for that bulge in the middle that looks soft, but in actuality, is not. So, if they suggest surgery to me, that’s what I’m going to do.
That’s how I see myself. The woman who I complimented on being thin — she looked back at me and said “don’t say that. You’re gorgeous. I see you working out so hard here every day and that’s more than a lot of people can say. And besides, I’d love to have boobs.” (So, yes, we all see ourselves differently than others do.)
I hope you will enjoy the video like I did. I smiled when I saw it.
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I’m thinking I might make this a regular series of posts – sometimes it may be more links than text, or a video to share, etc. I think it will help me and I hope you will find comfort in them too.