Happy

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I see views like this every day – it just blows my mind.
Rainbows are so amazing out here - you can usually see a full one.
Rainbows are so amazing out here – you can usually see a full one.
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I love the way you can see rain far off in the distance out here. Loved the contrast between the dark and white billowy clouds off in the distance.
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From my walk on the K-Hill Trail the other day. I often find myself just looking at the clouds and scenery in amazement. I have to pinch myself that this is around me every day now. It’s not just a vacation where i have to try to soak it all in and take back the memories until the next year.
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Yep, another shot of the Grand Canyon from my trip there two weeks ago.

That one word sums it up. How I felt last night. How I feel when I am at work these days. How I feel when I’m home in the evenings and take little Osito for a walk down past the RV park near me and we check out all the big fancy motorhome rigs that have set up camp for the night. How I feel when I sit outside of my RV and just have a good book to read, and I marvel at the wonderful, fall-ish, dry air of the southwest. How I feel when I see a rainbow so often these days. It’s just amazing.

There were definitely days over the past year or two when I thought this time would never come, and when I thought I would never figure out exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I just knew that what I was doing at the time was not it. My good friends would listen to me tell them about my newest idea, or newest place I wanted to move. They never laughed at me, but would chuckle with me as I said, “ok, so here’s what I am thinking this week.” I just always had that date of Aug. 2015 in my mind and knew it would come to me by then. Every change in thought brought me closer to where I needed to be in the grand scheme of things.  My life is much simpler now, and I’m so grateful for that.

I remember the days when I would have to listen to people throwing all those questions/roadblocks in my way, saying, why would you want to give up everything you have to go and scoop animal poop all day long? There were days when people would send me job descriptions for jobs similar to what I had  but in different locations. As if the change in location was all that I needed. It was definitely a test of patience, and I had to remind myself that people were projecting their own fears onto me. I always needed to remember the source of the concern. Their fears, and their love for me. It wasn’t a criticism of me.

I’m doing the online dating thing now. Some might find it weird that I signed up for it so quickly after having moved here, but I purposely didn’t date for the last few years because I didn’t want any person to distract me from my goals. I didn’t want to take the chance that someone might want me to change my mind and stay put, in Boston. Because I knew in my heart, staying put was not an option. I’m hoping it works out, but if it doesn’t, I’m also ok with that too. At least I will know I’ve tried. And if I meet cool people along the way, and maybe make some friends out of it as well, then it will be one more positive experience for me. The thing is, I’m not looking for someone to complete me or fill a hole in me or feel like I’m lacking or deficient being by myself. And that’s how I know I’m ready. I’m happy with me.

I hope you have enjoyed the pictures. Not sure why they all loaded into my page the way they did, all together, but anyway, there you go! If you ever have a chance to get out to the southwest, do it!! Your stress level will go down remarkably. I promise you. (And a PS to those of you who know I have been weaning myself off of Prozac now for the past few months. I’m down to half the dosage I was on for several years. I’m doing it, and feel great. It’s just a matter of time until I’ve got it completely cleared out of my system. I’m no longer afraid of the “what ifs” that held me back from doing this before. If you’re new to the blog, you can read more about that here.)

As always, thanks for reading, and if you have enjoyed this post, please hit like or subscribe or leave me a comment below. I love to hear from you (seriously.)

Settling In, and Coming to Terms with My New Life

Um, yeah... The Grand Canyon is 78 miles from where i live.
Um, yeah… The Grand Canyon is 78 miles from where i live.

So I’ve just started my third week at my new job. I have to say, it’s some weird feelings that I go through sometimes.  A little bit of shock and disbelief.  Happiness. Some scared moments when I think ” how am I gonna do this on this new salary?”  The excitement of seeing new and amazingly beautiful places, the feel of trying out some new hiking shoes, meeting the ladies who work out in the morning at my gym and realizing, wow, they lift heavier than me!  (I still need to find my local “tribe” but I’m working on it.)  It’s just very hard to put into words. I mean, I went from living in a studio that cost me $1100/month in rent to an RV lot that costs $215 plus an RV payment of $82. How does this reconcile in your head?? Ever??

Another shot from the North Rim of the Grand Canyon.  i can go as often as I like!!!
Another shot from the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. i can go as often as I like!!!

I got my first paycheck yesterday. Only for one week of work because of the way the pay periods fall. Needless to say, it’s less than I have ever earned.  I think, like, EVER. Yesterday, at work, as usual, I found myself cleaning a bunny’s butt. Yes, I have a law degree and a masters in library science, and there I was, pulling poop out of a bunny’s butt. (Have you ever heard someone make that statement before?? If so, WHO was it, and HOW can I meet them??!!) And then later on, I found myself cleaning the bathroom. It’s one of our weekly chores to do – no maid service for us. Again, I was wondering, um, is this really my life??!! (Not in a bad way, mind you. Just….it’s….. how do I put this? Surreal? After all this time and planning and thinking of making such huge changes, I’ve actually DONE it.)   But you know what? It’s all good. I knew coming out here my life was going to change in every aspect possible. And I take a look at my surroundings every day, even just the drive to work, and I cannot honestly believe such beauty exists. But don’t take my word for it. Just take a look at some of my pics. That is all.

This is from my walk the other day. Yes, my walk!!
This is from my walk the other day. Yes, my walk!!
A larger shot of the image that is my header on the blog now.
A larger shot of the image that is my header on the blog now.

A good friend of mine said he hoped I would still continue blogging after moving out here, as he said I had inspired him. (He’s even going meatless some days of the week and considering changing to vegetarian!!) Oh hell yeah, I’m going to keep blogging! (I wasn’t so sure about the inspiring part – I just write what makes me feel good to write and on topics that I think resonate with some folks.)

So yes, folks, I will keep talking about getting out of debt (just a different kind now) and chasing simple dreams, and all that good stuff. Please stay with me! Thank you for reading!