Sorry it’s been a few weeks since I last updated everyone as to what is going on. It’s been a busy few weeks, and I have been working a fair amount of hours, only to grow larger, I suspect, over the summer. That’s ok, because any overtime I make will be going to pay off debt and save up cash for the leaner times. Also, the way the internet works out here is not so reliable. For me to even be typing this, I have my chromebook tethered via USB to my phone and am using my cellular data. To get satellite internet at my apartment was going to be a huge hassle and a half, involving drilling through the roof (don’t even get me started) and quite expensive. I have decided to just buy more data for my phone if the need arises.
So…ok, where do I start?!
So, you might be wondering – did I sell the RV? Yes!!! I sold it to someone who used to work at the resort where I currently work. He was so happy when he drove away with it. I’ve moved into an apartment and there was a bit of a hassle over the furballs. That’s all I can really write about it publicly, but suffice it to say, it was stressful. Then about a week and a half ago, when I went to a neighbor’s to hang out, I left my door closed (or so I thought) but unlocked. I came home a few hours later to find my door standing open, and Max and HoneyBun had flown the coop. We get high winds here sometimes, and the wind had blown the door open. To say I was panicked is an understatement!
Max was returned to me the next night, but HoneyBun was on the lam for almost a week until I was able to catch her in a trap that a friend loaned me. She has since made a break for it once, and now I’m even more paranoid of opening the door and OCD-ish when making sure the door is locked every time I step foot outside of the apartment, even if it’s to sit on my own patio. I’ve ordered a flexi-gate to put near the door to act as another barrier – it should arrive in a few days.
I have some sad news, and it relates to my oldest cat, Bonkers. On the day after Max and HoneyBun escaped, I left work early to come home and search for them. Bonkers was having issues pooping, as he has had over the past year or so (he has dealt with constipation issues, an irregular colon, kidney failure and a heart murmur.) I called the local vet immediately, who was triple-booked, but they urged me that if I could bring him down within the hour, I might be able to get him seen.
Well, a few weeks before this episode, I ended up having to drive 150 miles one way to the town of St. George, in Utah, to help Bonkers out with another pooping issue that required sedation. At that time, because of his heart murmur and other health issues, the doc had wanted to do some blood work before putting him under sedation. His blood work came back and showed high calcium levels, which I learned usually means cancer. However, they couldn’t see a tumor at the time.
Fast forward to the day that I took him to the local vet, who felt around his bum area and noticed it felt quite hard. He felt his colon and said that the lactulose which I had been giving him religiously was doing its job and his stool was soft as it should be. But he had a tumor growing near that area which was making his “exit” hole that much smaller, and therefore harder for him to defecate. The doc said that with anal gland tumors, they usually grow fast and are very malignant. If I wanted to consult with a specialist, he predicted it would mean a large medical bill, surgery, chemo, and in the end, a totally incontinent cat of 15 years. It was clear Bonkers didn’t feel well that am, and I had noticed he had not been eating as much the past few weeks, nor was he sitting still for his subcutaneous fluids like he used to. So, I decided to do what was best for Bonkers, and he crossed over the rainbow bridge on April 15th.
Now that Max and HoneyBun have been safely returned to me, I feel like I can finally properly mourn Bonkers. I’ve arranged for him to be individually cremated, and I plan on donating all of his unused medicines to the local vet. The local vet said that while he can’t re-sell the meds himself, he can offer them to an owner who might come in in the future with a pet needing such expensive meds but can’t afford them. (I was able to buy them all at cost from the animal clinic with my former employer.)
I’ve been working as a supervisor of the resort’s campground, but have recently acknowledged what my physiological system has been telling me, and which I suspected was the case – I don’t like being The Boss, and dealing with all those stresses being The Boss entails. So I have asked to be moved to the role of Team Lead. I will still do a lot of what I am doing now – dealing with campers/customers, but not with all of the stresses of having to discipline employees, etc. So right now I’m in a transition period where we are hiring lots of new employees for the summer, and working with my (temporary) replacement in the supervisory role. And yes, there have been some rough patches. Nothing is ever easy. I wish it was, but lately, that just doesn’t appear to be the case where my life is concerned.
I do like living in the apartment. I love taking long hot showers, and being able to even turn around in my bathroom! I love being able to do a load of laundry while I sleep at night. I love living close enough to work so that I can drive home the 2-3 miles at lunch and visit my furballs. I love living so close to Lone Rock that I can even see it from the front patio of my apartment. I love the fact that in April, just yesterday, I was in a tshirt and shorts and sitting at the beach, even if only for a short while after I volunteered at the local animal shelter. And yes, I have loved taking some of their energetic doggies for walks.
I am having a problem setting into a routine, however. I’ve not worked out in weeks now (shock, gasp!) because getting to work by 7 or 7:15 in the am already requires me to get up pretty early and after being on my feet all day, I just don’t feel like going for a run. And I’ve not been writing (obviously, as you’ve seen from the lack of posts on the blog). Until a few weeks ago, I’ll be quite honest. I was so stressed out of my mind on a daily basis from one thing or another that it was all I could do to get msyelf to eat an entire bagel for breakfast without feeling like I wanted to puke. That’s how I get affected by stress.
But lately, my stress level has been coming down somewhat, and I’m working on getting my positive attitude back on a more regular basis. I’m feeling like I can eat food again. i did lose some much needed weight during those stress-filled weeks, so that was actually a good thing, in retrospect. And, I learned some valuable information about myself, so that was also good.
Well, this has been a rambling catch-up post, and I hope some of you are still out there, interested to read it. Please drop me a line or comment below if you like. I promise to write more now that I am slowly getting established. And I want to write more fiction as well. The book dream has not left me – it just got misplaced during the move and the following stress.
Chasing Simple Dreams 
RIP bonkers.🙏. And I guess lots of people are not letting go of there book dreams like you and me. Keep holding on!
Thank you! Yes, it may just take me a long (long) time to get the book done, but eventually it will. I can’t let that dream die.
Terri, you’ve been through HUGE changes in less than a year! Please be kind to yourself and cut yourself some slack for getting through the huge stresses of moving twice, job changing (twice), and caring for your furbabies. I’m so sorry you lost Bonkers but know that you did the right thing for him, however sad for you. Recognizing that you don’t want the stress of being The Boss is a big step and one you will be even happier you took as time goes on and work picks up. I can see you as Team Lead and am glad you made the change early for your own health and well being.
Anne, thank you so much for writing. I like being a motivator to others on the team, and teaching them how to work with customers by example, and those are going to be my focuses once the other person completely takes over as the person In Charge. 🙂 And yes, it’s been hard to lose both Bonkers and Sebastian within six months. I think back to when I moved cross country with the five cat carriers and the dog on my lap and now I’m down to three cats and the dog. That night that both of my cats got out was so awful, and when I came home from the animal hospital, with just Callie and Osito left, I was so sad. It was so quiet here, and it just didn’t feel right. I couldn’t believe it when the guy called me and said “we have a cat here named MAx and he seems pretty scared.” It was like a miracle. And then Id didn’t hear or see HoneyBun for a few days. With it being so desolate or isolated out here, I was definitely fearing the worst where she was concerned.
Yes, changing jobs twice in the same year – I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. It’s so stressful. But I”m getting there, and getting through things. And you know what it’s like to be the Boss, so I especially appreciate you saying that.
SO happy to hear you found both cats. Have been wondering, but not close to the internet to check. I have a break-out-of-prison type cat and I’ve found that having a squirt bottle (water) near the door helps. She knows she’s going to get squirted if she comes near when I’m going in or out and has finally given up trying.
I understand what you’re going through. I, myself, have decided to cut short my camp hosting and head for a house – April 30 is my last day (was supposed to stay through May). It wears on one always wondering if the winds are going to blow (put up the awning, pick up the outside stuff), and hot showers are becoming something I dream about. My new mantra as I get older is to make my life as simple and easy as I can. I believe that therein lies happiness.
Keep moving forward. You’ve been through a LOT and need some TLC. Be kind to yourself, you’re a gem and deserve it.
Thank you. You know how much your words mean to me, Chinle. And oh, when I found HoneyBun in the trap that first night that she got caught, I was not sure if I could sleep that night. i just couldn’t believe my eyes. And when she got out the second time, I felt like such a piece of crap for having had it happen twice. But now she is back and affectionate, and the second time she even walked in the door of her own free will, which told me a lot. Since then, she has not made a break for it again, but I’m still wary and still going to set up the tall baby gate/barrier to the doorway.
Hot showers are amazing, aren’t they? You never know lucky you are to have them until you can’t take unlimited ones, or as-long-as-you-want ones. I’m glad to hear you cut the hosting short. I can see you smiling about that all the way from here.
I left the camp hosting a little early and really enjoyed the peace and quiet at my new home for one night. You know where it is and are welcome anytime. Right now I’m in Colorado getting my stuff together (what little I have), as well as the cats, and will go back over there in a day or two. No internet but you can call anytime. I’m really looking forward to the peace and quiet. Glad things are doing better down your way.
I’m so glad for you and I will definitely call you soon to catch up. By now, I’m guessing you are back there and relaxing already!
Life in general is not always easy, but having the furballs makes it worthwhile. They provide comfort when nothing else will do, even if there is an escape or two here and there! ;-> So sorry to hear about Bonkers. Each loss is individual and painful, but there are so many happy memories to counteract the sadness. I still mourn, Brutus, my St. Bernard that passed away in 1979 at age ten and a half. He was definitely the world’s sweetest St. Bernard!
Virtual hugs,
Judie
Judie, I still remember the dog we had when I was growing up – his name was Max, and though he was a mutt, the biggest portion of him was what we called a “bird dog.” At the time, I thought that was a breed, lol. And thank you for saying that about Bonkers. I only had him for less than three years but he taught me a lot during that time. And he had one of the sweetest, oldest souls I could ever wish to have had in my life. Thank you so much, and of course, hugs back at you!
Life’s ups and downs . . . happy to hear things have settled down . . .
I know that I do not like managing people. Actually few people make good managers of others and it’s good to know where you stand on that spectrum.
I’m with ‘Rockhound’ in that in my 6th decade of life I choose a simple life. I say “no” much more often than I used to and make choices that I know are good for me. You’re figuring this out as you move through your life . . . it’s all good ; ) xxoo
Darris, moving out of the RV seems to have definitely simplified things and helped things to settle down. And you know, it’s funny, another good friend of mine who is almost 60 also realized, she was never cut out to be a boss, and she never wanted to be one. I’m ok with not having all the accolades that come with being a boss, I really am. I get my satisfaction out of helping the customers come in and know that I am good at working with people, and even heard from someone one day “you’re in the right line of work, you’re very good at this.” That comment made my day. And yes, god yes, so many people are awful managers!
I think you and Rockhound would really like each other if you met, actually. You have a lot in common, with my really liking each of you being one of those things!
Terri,
It’s good to see that you’re writing again. I had been wondering how things were going, but at the same time, I knew that you had a lot on your plate and posting on a Blog was not (and shouldn’t be) your top priority.
Hang in there,
Jerry
Thank you, Jerry, and I knew some of you out there were worrying about me. I’m so sorry. But yes, with every blog post I write, I feel more creative and even having just written this last one, I feel the creative juices moving again, and it’s a good thing. I’m doing my best to hang in there!
Thanks for catching your friends up on the last few weeks. I don’t have much to add to what others have said. I’m just glad to hear your voice here again. Your journey of exploration is an inspiration. Hugs, David
Thank you, David. You’re going through a journey yourself too, which I also find inspiring. Hugs back to you, of course. 🙂
So glad to hear that you sold the Rv and are in an apartment. I am so sad to hear about your fur baby. 😦 Our pets are our kids, aren’t they, and we mourn their loss. (Hugs)
We are sitting in Colorado watching it snow. We just left Texas with temps in the 80’s, so this is just weird lol
Take care.
The weather is very weird here lately too, if that makes you feel any better. A neighbor told me that normally at this point in the year we are having constant 80+ temps but it’s in the high 50s and 60s right now. And rain!! And people have been coming into the campground, telling us how it’s been snowing at the southern rim of the grand canyon!
And yes, my pets are definitely my kids. I don’t know what I would do without them. I don’t think I could live here without them, not being alone so much of the time. Definitely not.
So sorry to read about Bonkers. But what a wonderful loving home you provided. Bless Bonkers.
Thank you, Kim, I know, you met him last year when you passed through Kanab. He was such a cutie and had such a good heart. I definitely tried to give him a lot of love and I know I got a lot of love from him, more than I could ever have imagined!