Lot Going On…

Taken during my off-roading adventure yesterday, something I won’t ever forget.

Sorry it’s been a few weeks since I last updated everyone as to what is going on. It’s been a busy few weeks, and I have been working a fair amount of hours, only to grow larger, I suspect, over the summer. That’s ok, because any overtime I make will be going to pay off debt and save up cash for the leaner times.  Also, the way the internet works out here is not so reliable. For me to even be typing this, I have my chromebook tethered via USB to my phone and am using my cellular data. To get satellite internet at my apartment was going to be a huge hassle and a half, involving drilling through the roof (don’t even get me started) and quite expensive. I have decided to just buy more data for my phone if the need arises.

So…ok, where do I start?!

So, you might be wondering – did I sell the RV? Yes!!! I sold it to someone who used to work at the resort where I currently work. He was so happy when he drove away with it. I’ve moved into an apartment and there was a bit of a hassle over the furballs. That’s all I can really write about it publicly, but suffice it to say, it was stressful.  Then about a week and a half ago, when I went to a neighbor’s to hang out, I left my door closed (or so I thought) but unlocked. I came home a few hours later to find my door standing open, and Max and HoneyBun had flown the coop. We get high winds here sometimes, and the wind had blown the door open.  To say I was panicked is an understatement!

HoneyBun, exhausted after her second escape to the outside world. Never letting that little one out of my sight again!

Max was returned to me the next night, but HoneyBun was on the lam for almost a week until I was able to catch her in a trap that a friend loaned me. She has since made a break for it once, and now I’m even more paranoid of opening the door and OCD-ish when making sure the door is locked every time I step foot outside of the apartment, even if it’s to sit on my own patio. I’ve ordered a flexi-gate to put near the door to act as another barrier – it should arrive in a few days.

This photo epitomizes the sweetness of Bonkers, how he used to curl his paws when he slept, and how sweet and big his heart was. In his sleep, he kept moving closer and closer to Osito until they were touching. ❤ Bonkers. RIP.

I have some sad news, and it relates to my oldest cat, Bonkers. On the day after Max and HoneyBun escaped, I left work early to come home and search for them. Bonkers was having issues pooping, as he has had over the past year or so (he has dealt with constipation issues, an irregular colon, kidney failure and a heart murmur.) I called the local vet immediately, who was triple-booked, but they urged me that if I could bring him down within the hour, I might be able to get him seen.

Well, a few weeks before this episode, I ended up having to drive 150 miles one way to the town of St. George, in Utah, to help Bonkers out with another pooping issue that required sedation. At that time, because of his heart murmur and other health issues, the doc had wanted to do some blood work before putting him under sedation. His blood work came back and showed high calcium levels, which I learned usually means cancer. However, they couldn’t see a tumor at the time.

After only one day of being on the run, Max seemed very happy to be at home and has stuck close by my side ever since. This photo was taken the day after he was returned (a helpful neighbor called me when Max found his way into their courtyard.)

Fast forward to the day that I took him to the local vet, who felt around his bum area and noticed it felt quite hard. He felt his colon and said that the lactulose which I had been giving him religiously was doing its job and his stool was soft as it should be. But he had a tumor growing near that area which was making his “exit” hole that much smaller, and therefore harder for him to defecate. The doc said that with anal gland tumors, they usually grow fast and are very malignant. If I wanted to consult with a specialist, he predicted it would mean a large medical bill, surgery, chemo, and in the end, a totally incontinent cat of 15 years. It was clear Bonkers didn’t feel well that am, and I had noticed he had not been eating as much the past few weeks, nor was he sitting still for his subcutaneous fluids like he used to.  So, I decided to do what was best for Bonkers, and he crossed over the rainbow bridge on April 15th.

Now that Max and HoneyBun have been safely returned to me, I feel like I can finally properly mourn Bonkers. I’ve arranged for him to be individually cremated, and I plan on donating all of his unused medicines to the local vet. The local vet said that while he can’t re-sell the meds himself, he can offer them to an owner who might come in in the future with a pet needing such expensive meds but can’t afford them. (I was able to buy them all at cost from the animal clinic with my former employer.)

I’ve been working as a supervisor of the resort’s campground, but have recently acknowledged what my physiological system has been telling me, and which I suspected was the case – I don’t like being The Boss, and dealing with all those stresses being The Boss entails. So I have asked to be moved to the role of Team Lead. I will still do a lot of what I am doing now – dealing with campers/customers, but not with all of the stresses of having to discipline employees, etc.  So right now I’m in a transition period where we are hiring lots of new employees for the summer, and working with my (temporary) replacement in the supervisory role. And yes, there have been some rough patches. Nothing is ever easy. I wish it was, but lately, that just doesn’t appear to be the case where my life is concerned.

I do like living in the apartment. I love taking long hot showers, and being able to even turn around in my bathroom! I love being able to do a load of laundry while I sleep at night. I love living close enough to work so that I can drive home the 2-3 miles at lunch and visit my furballs. I love living so close to Lone Rock that I can even see it from the front patio of my apartment. I love the fact that in April, just yesterday, I was in a tshirt and shorts and sitting at the beach, even if only for a short while after I volunteered at the local animal shelter. And yes, I have loved taking some of their energetic doggies for walks.

I am having a problem setting into a routine, however. I’ve not worked out in weeks now (shock, gasp!) because getting to work by 7 or 7:15 in the am already requires me to get up pretty early and after being on my feet all day, I just don’t feel like going for a run. And I’ve not been writing (obviously, as you’ve seen from the lack of posts on the blog). Until a few weeks ago, I’ll be quite honest. I was so stressed out of my mind on a daily basis from one thing or another that it was all I could do to get msyelf to eat an entire bagel for breakfast without feeling like I wanted to puke. That’s how I get affected by stress.

But lately, my stress level has been coming down somewhat, and I’m working on getting my positive attitude back on a more regular basis. I’m feeling like I can eat food again.  i did lose some much needed weight during those stress-filled weeks, so that was actually a good thing, in retrospect. And, I learned some valuable information about myself, so that was also good.

Well, this has been a rambling catch-up post, and I hope some of you are still out there, interested to read it. Please drop me a line or comment below if you like. I promise to write more now that I am slowly getting established. And I want to write more fiction as well. The book dream has not left me – it just got misplaced during the move and the following stress.

A LOT Has Been Going On!

Sorry I’ve been silent the past few weeks but wow, it has been quite the whirlwind!

Try to handle the cuteness in this picture if you can. I ❤ Bonkers and Osito.

I couldn’t say things publicly but I was in the midst of making some big changes. You may have remembered my musing at times about finding some workamping gigs and my planning on doing Amazon Camperforce in the fall months. Well, I interviewed for three different workamping gigs and was offered positions at all three! (For the curious, they were at Yellowstone National Park, Cedar Pass Lodge in the Badlands, and also Lake Powell Resort in AZ.)

I couldn’t believe that three different people so quickly wanted to hire me! I was extremely flattered, and I made sure to tell the two employers with whom I decided to not pursue employment that I was going to be taking a job elsewhere and my reasons why. I decided to go with Lake Powell for many reasons.

Lake Powell is only 75 miles from where I am currently located, and the weather would be nicest. I’ve been there many times, and I love the area (did I mention there is a huge, huge, HUGE lake there?) Plus, the pay was pretty good, the housing was very, very inexpensive, and last but not least, I already knew people who lived in the area, both in Page, and also my friends here in Kanab. I thought it would be a good way of easing myself into the workamping lifestyle, and it gave me a lot of options, RV-wise. I could easily move my current RV there (the big fifth wheel) by having someone transport it for me, and not have it cost an arm and a leg. To move the fifth wheel to either of the other locations would be HUGELY expensive. Or, I could sell my fifth wheel and look into buying a smaller rig, with a different tow vehicle, before I would move in a few months.

I took this pic from the beach that is located just below the Wahweap RV & Campground at the Lake Powell Resort. The difference in the colors you see in the rocks across the water shows how high the water used to be in Lake Powell, compared to today.

So flash forward to a few weeks ago. A friend asked me if I might be interested in pursuing a full-time position as a campground supervisor at Lake Powell! So I went and interviewed with who will be my future boss, and spent a few hours there, meeting some of the employees and the outgoing supervisor. They wanted me to think about it over the weekend and I did (a lot) and then we talked that following Monday, and they wanted me to take the job!  There are three permanent employees, who are all in what they call Lead positions, and then the rest are temporary, seasonal workers, and I understand that some of them are returning. Hearing that makes me feel better – if you keep coming back year after year, there must be something good going on there.

I should mention – during that weekend while I thought about the job, I was also able to see a lot of family members that I haven’t seen a ton of over the years. My younger brother, (who long time readers will remember is an amazing runner who has done several marathons and (now) four ultra marathons!) traveled out to the Phoenix area to run another 100 mile trail race. I am so proud of him for having completed it in 21 hours, 27 minutes, and 32 seconds!! He was pretty amazing, as always. The course was a 20 mile loop that they ran 5 times. He led the race in first place for the first 80 miles (and that includes his first 20 mile lap at a pace of about 8:30/mile.) He was only overtaken at about mile 85. He came in third overall and set a PR for himself at this distance, beating his first two races by about 7 hours!!

This pic was taken from higher up than the beach, toward where the employee campground and lodging location is. My phone camera just doesn’t show the elevation change well.

I must say, I don’t take this job switch lightly, and a few people very close to me have expressed guilt in thinking that they were, in some way, partly to blame for my looking to move on from my current situation. Here’s the thing. Yes, I do take their opinions seriously.  I also consider these folks to be very close to me and always have my best interests at heart. However, no one forced me to make the decision to uproot myself and move from a big northeastern city to a small town in Utah. That was my decision to make. And it’s not one that I regret. That’s because I think the decision to come here was one that I was meant to make. Every decision has moved me closer to where I am supposed to be, and who I am supposed to be, and what I am supposed to be in this world. I have faith in that being true.  It’s been a learning experience and those are not always easy and comfortable. Unfortunately, learning can sometimes be painful, in the moment, anyway.

I realized this town is too small for me, and it doesn’t have enough going on to keep me happy. The town I am moving to is not a huge city like Boston but it does have more amenities than where I am now, relying so much on the tourism industry. Not that I love what Walmart stands for, but it is a huge advantage to have a store like Walmart so that if something breaks past 6 p.m., I will know that there is a place where I can likely buy a replacement part. Or, if I need a prescription filled on a weekend sometime after 12 noon on a Saturday, I have a hope of getting it filled.  To me, small things like that give me a measure of comfort. It’s not that I want to be spending all of my time at the local Walmart, but the fact that I won’t have to drive for 75 miles to get there, gives me comfort.

I’ve also realized I need to have some body of water near me. Back in Boston, my building had a beautiful reservoir out back. Even if I wasn’t going for a run around it, it was there if I wanted to just sit and “be.” To be able to sit and listen to the lap of waves on the shore is a huge comfort to me, even if I can see land on the other side. (In fact, I think seeing land on the other side actually makes me feel more comforted than sitting by the ocean and realizing the closest land mass is thousands of miles away.)

However, I feel guilt when I think of the fact that now the people with whom I work at the sanctuary have to look again for another staff member, leaving them short staffed again. And I also feel guilt when I think of leaving the amazing animals at the sanctuary behind. I know they are extremely well cared for, but caring for animals is what made me move 2600 miles. It’s what made me take such a huge cut in salary. I can’t ever give up on animals.

I really, really thought that when I made this big move, that this was IT. I really did. So, yes, I’m disappointed. But I’ve also made a very good friend or two over the past six months, and these are people I really feel like I was meant to meet and have in my life. They’ve taught me a lot about the goodness in people, and for that I am thankful. Sometimes I hear about such wickedness and crap going on in the world and wonder what makes some people the way they are.

So, I’ve already contacted the animal shelter in the town where I will be, and I plan on volunteering there as much as possible once I’m settled in. I stopped in this past weekend and immediately several cats came right up to me for attention. I didn’t let myself go visit with the dogs as I didn’t want to get them all excited and then not be able to take them on walks. As it was, I wanted to take home so many of the cats!! It is a small shelter but it does incredible work with the resources it has.

So now I’m thinking…maybe this is the reason I moved to this part of the US. To help share the beauty of this part of the country with visitors through my job.  To have a living situation that will allow me to be able to make some headway on paying off my RV and my car (and yes, that pesky private student loan), while also providing some comfort to shelter animals that can really use it.

Anyway, enough of my rambling. I’m sorry that I worried a few of you who wrote to me after not hearing from me on here for so long. I just had to focus my energies on things like job searching and stuff at certain times, so the blog had to step aside for a bit. Thanks for reading, as always.





No Matter How Old You Are, You’re Still Someone’s Baby

These two will always be my babies, even though they are 14. (Bonkers and Osito)

I talked to my mom last night on the phone. As usual, she worried about me “freezing to death” in this RV of mine. No matter how many times I have told her I am ok, I have lots of warm blankets, and the animals to curl up with at night, plus two space heaters, she still worries. She worries about the heat and the money situation. She’s a mom. I’m 43, and she’s turning 77 this year, but I’m still her middle child.

After I hung up the phone, I realized I should have said to her, “Mom, don’t worry about me. You taught me right.” We didn’t have a lot growing up, and she ended up cleaning houses after my parents split, to make ends meet and also to be home when we got home from school. But what she taught me is that there is always a way to make things work. I may not make a lot of money right now, and it does seem frustrating when I figure out my bills for the next pay period and see “wow, I’ve got like 120 to make it through including my food and gas” but then I remind myself, it’s doable. I don’t need a lot. And I only have that small amount because I am insisting on putting some money into savings every month. I refuse to live, as they say “paycheck to paycheck.” It is very, very important to me to have a cushion. If there’s one thing I have learned over the past several years, it’s that I never EVER want to go back to that feeling of having pretty much nothing in the bank and a maxed out credit card to boot.

When I tell people that I think my fifth wheel is too big for me and my fur family, you should see the looks I get from some people. It’s quite clear that they think I’m insane. But what I see is a big trailer that has high ceilings, which, while I love their sense of openness, cost more to heat, and cool. What I see is that in the evenings, after I eat my dinner, we all hang out together in the bedroom portion of the fifth wheel (in my case, it’s a front bedroom so it would be the part of the trailer that would be hanging over the bed of the truck, if there was one attached.) We all hang out on my cozy bed, with a space heater cranking away, and either a good book or a TV show or something on netflix to keep us comfy. They tend to gather close to me, and I feel very loved. When I wake up in the morning, they are usually all still there.

So, we don’t need all this space. I don’t need the big closet that spans the width of my trailer. I have two dresses I brought with me from Boston, and have yet to wear them. None of my clothes need to be ironed. (In fact, I don’t even own one and plan on never needing one again.) I could fold them all and put them in bins and be just fine, which would most likely be the case in a smaller RV.)  My animals are all seniors (two turn 15 this year) so they don’t have all the crazy energy of young kittens and puppies. They like to be warm and to rest. (As I write this, one is sitting on my lap with his head on the table – if he could reach the computer keyboard to rest it there, trust me, he would.)

Making a lot less money than I ever have before in my life, I realize now what is important to me. The beauty of the natural world around me, good friends, the love of my animals, a great book to keep me company (currently reading Man’s Search for Meaning, by Victor Frankl, which was  a gift from someone and I highly recommend it). Food that allows me to retain my health. Exercise to keep myself strong. Having my priorities straight for my life and trying to evade the negativity of others and the world when it rears its ugly head. Making sure I have enough food to feed myself and my animals. Knowing I will see family in just less than two weeks when my brother embarks on yes, another 100 mile race, and when my sister will be coming to visit in February. It’s these things I have been trying to focus on, rather than what I don’t have.

And yes, Mom, not freezing to death in the winter. 🙂

What do you focus on to ground yourself in this life?

As always, thank you for reading.

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Paw Prints Forever on My Heart, RIP Sebastian and Daisy

A photo of my Sebastian (grey and white) with Bonkers. I used to love waking up in the morning and seeing that he had joined the family on the bed overnight.

Last month, I really cursed out this town. I know I wrote a comical post about how I live in a small town, but this one night, it really pissed me off. My Sebastian died. He was the youngest of all my cats, and the one I worried least about, health-wise, other than the fact that he was overweight. (He’d been homeless at one time and that fear of where and when his next meal would come, seemed to always be with him.)  I cursed this town because the only fully staffed emergency vet care is through the sanctuary but they have been short staffed, and even if they weren’t, the policy is that sanctuary animals get preference over employees’ animals for medical care. I understand this, as there are over 1700 animals at the sanctuary and they are the clinic’s first priority. There is a local vet and they have been amazing with the care of my Bonkers, simply amazing. But there are only two of them, and well, they have to go home sometime, so the closest 24 hour emergency animal clinic is in St. George, which is about 75-80 miles away.  While I understand all of this logically, when you are holding an unresponsive animal in your arms, all logic goes out the window.  Read more

Things I Love

Max and Osito, two that like to be as close to me as possible at ALL times.
Max and Osito, two that like to be as close to me as possible at ALL times.

Sitting here on a Sunday night as I start to write this post. Looking around me and seeing all of my animals dozing or just about there…the bed was just freshly made with laundered sheets and two fleece blankets, so you know what kind of a magnet that’s gonna be this evening for all of the felines! (Well, and this human and of course, the dog.)

It just makes me feel content, moments like this. The heat is running (of course, it is Boston on Feb. 1st, after all, and we are expecting ….wait for it…., more snow!!!) YAYYY (yes folks, you’re not imaging it…that is sarcasm you are hearing as you read this post to yourself.)

But really, it does. I feel content because I know I’m settled in for the night, and don’t have to go out in the cold. (Gotta love having a dog that is trained to use pee pads and who hates the cold, too.) Well, at least I don’t have to go out until the morning anyway, since it’s unlikely my workplace will close.

My buddy, Ross, the pony!!
My buddy, Ross, the pony!!

Earlier today, as is my normal Sunday routine, I got up early, had my two cups of coffee and got ready to go to the shelter to take care of some animals. I was delighted to see that they had another goat that wasn’t there last week! Even the skiddish goats who came in a few weeks ago as emaciated strays seemed a bit more acclimated to us today. And at the end of my shift there, I spent some time with Fancy the horse, and Ross, the pony, outside. Ross can be a bit, how shall we say, overzealous, when food is in front of him, so it was hard holding the last carrot out of his reach so Fancy could eat it. He is such a cutie – he kept backing up or sidling up next to me to be petted and scratched, and then at one point, he got down onto the ground and rolled over on his back and kicked his legs up in the air. It made me so happy to see him so happy (and relieved from his itchy back, I’m sure.)

My cute, little HoneyBun. This is the dog's bed, but whenever the dog is close to me, she loves to spend time there. In this picture, she is kneading the blanket, happy as a cat can be.
My cute, little HoneyBun. This is the dog’s bed, but whenever the dog is close to me, she loves to spend time there. In this picture, she is kneading the blanket, happy as a cat can be.

I have come to realize that whenever I am at the shelter with those animals, I laugh. I talk to them just like I would my pets at home, always in a calming voice, and the horse and pony make me laugh. There are five goats there now, including a mama and baby girl, and the baby girl is such a nut – she has taken to jumping into the wheelbarrow while we are cleaning out her pen. Both myself and  the other volunteer this morning thought it looked super cute, but we still both shook our heads like “girlll….you are weird!!” Only for these animals would I get up so early on a Sunday and actually look forward to cleaning up after them.

That's ok, Max, you just go ahead and lie right there. It's not like I was actually reading that or anything.... :-)
That’s ok, Max, you just go ahead and lie right there. It’s not like I was actually reading that or anything…. 🙂

Other things I love? Spending time with good friends, having a good conversation and four forks to eat a piece of chocolate cake. That’s how I spent my evening last night. It was very needed – with the weather and my starting school two weeks ago, I found myself in a very down mood toward the end of the week. Seeing my best friend and two others definitely helped lift me out of a funk. And hearing that my best friend is still feeling amazing as she reaches week 17 of her pregnancy, that is just awesome in my book. She will find out what she is having in two weeks – my guess is it’s a girl. Don’t know why, but I just do. She is blond haired and blue eyed, and her husband is from the Bahamas, so you all know just how beautiful that baby will be. (I gotta admit, girls are so much more to buy stuff for, what with all the pink clothes and stuff, but …ok, I digress.)

From what I could tell, this was a minivan at one point in its life.
From what I could tell, this was a minivan at one point in its life.

Did I already mention chocolate? (Yeah, there was that bit above about the chocolate cake.) I could go on and on forever about how much I love chocolate, but I’ll stop now so I can shove a few chocolate chips into my mouth…ok, I’m back!

I am sorry for not having blogged the past few weeks but I just started school and am settling into a rhythm of handling that and working full-time. I have to admit, I am enjoying learning again. And I started auditing an animal law class last week at work – it’s so cool to be in a room with so many others that feel the same way about animals you do, and are passionate about it.

Yeah, this is NOT something that I love. Ever. Thank God it's not mine.
Yeah, this is NOT something that I love. Ever. Thank God it’s not mine.

Oh, and one last thing I love? Knowing that this is my LAST winter in the northeast. The location where I am looking to move hardly ever gets snow and as of last week, while we expected a blizzard, its weather forecast was for highs in the 50s. Enough said. I’m going, baby!

What  kinds of things do you love – what warms your heart and makes you laugh as if you don’t have a care in the world? Please drop me a line below and let me know!

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Little Things for Which I am Thankful


And then this happened....miracle of miracles!
And then this happened….miracle of miracles!


  1. Oh thank God, it’s Friday. I worked on Sunday at my full time job on Sunday and it’s been a super busy week for all of those in my department so I couldn’t find a day to take off to use my comp time. So I’m taking it this Monday and am going to rent a zip car and check out RVs at the dealers near me! I’m super excited!  Going to do some searches of their inventory this weekend so I can plan out my route, and also not drive more than 180 miles in the process. After that, I have to pay extra.
  2. The weather this week in Boston has been pretty similar to what I think it will be like in the pacific northwest. Lots of rain and grey skies. It was very eye opening. Between the realization of the past few weeks that the scooter was not right for me, and the weather being kind of cold and raw, at times, I realized I really do need to go the travel trailer and crossover/small SUV route next year. I also realized it was very worth spending about $80 (on sale) for a rain jacket from Eastern Mountain Sports about a month ago. Riding a bike in the rain with the right gear is so much better than wearing just a windbreaker which, while it breaks wind, isn’t even water resistant.
  3. As I’ve been thinking more and more of what I want in a travel trailer, I’ve also acknowledged the fact that I really don’t want to have to buy some large honkin’ truck. A smaller one, maybe, or mid-size SUV, but I really don’t want something like a Yukon Denali, or Chevy Suburban, etc. So, I need something very light-weight, but still with enough room for all of my animals to be comfortable. I also need a tow vehicle in which I can let them out of their carriers, but still keep the vehicle organized in such a way that there can be barriers between the groupings of (1) Max and Sebastian, (2) Callie and HoneyBun, and (3) me, Osito and Bonkers. Osito insists on being on my lap, and Bonkers doesn’t travel so well in a carrier, so I want him to be close to me in case he gets sick. We’ll be like a traveling zoo!
  4. The realization in number 3 has reignited an interest in me to minimalize, minimalize, minimalize! In so doing, I’ve come across some pretty good youtube channels including this one, Unconventional Living.
  5. Take a look at the photo above. Aren’t they both beautiful?? Max is the one who is sort of facing the camera, and he’s the diva. You’ve seen pics of Bonkers before with his cute little ears. 🙂 I’ve NEVER seen them sit this close together before, and not have one growling or afraid of the other (that’d be Bonkers being afraid of Max in case you’re wondering.)  Seeing this made me feel hopeful that maybe I can really do the RV life with all of them and not have hell breaking loose all the time! I know that when you put animals in different physical situations, the hierarchy between them can change over time. So maybe there will be peace on earth, ta da!

Today is a day when a big payment will be made to my LAL loan. As you may recall from an earlier post, October is one of those amazing months where I get three paychecks, yay!  It allows me to make a big payment since the other day I realized that on a normal month of just two paychecks, I lose about 28 or 29% to taxes and other costs, like retirement deductions, etc. So that brings me down to about 70% of may paycheck being my take home pay. Out of that amount, I live on about 52% of it. So really, I’m living on about 1/3 of my gross pay! 

How much do you live on out of your gross or take-home pay? 

If you’ve liked this post, please hit like or subscribe, or drop me a comment below! If any of you have comments on the fiberglass travel trailers, or great tow vehicles, I would love to hear them, too! 


Little Things for Which I am Thankful….wellll……

Yep, the “welll…..” says it all.  It’s been that kind of week.

Ok, first, a picture of my kitty cat, Bonkers, aka, the Bonk Man. He’s mentioned in number 6 below so having his picture here is not completely random. (And it occurs to me I may have used it before, but hey, he looks super cute in it, no?)

Don't you just love his ears???
Don’t you just love his ears???

Let’s start with the draft of a post I had started yesterday, but didn’t get a chance to finish due to my running from one job to the other:

“I’m feeling like I am in a bit of a funk this week, and I’m not sure why. This morning I started to try writing it out in my journal because sometimes that helps. But I’m just feeling, well…really, bleh. Meh. You know the feeling. You just don’t give a shit about much.

My apartment is a mess, and usually this would bother me enough to spur me into action. Today? Yeah, not so much. Was supposed to work out with my trainer this morning – my last of ten sessions. Decided I felt like crap and just couldn’t do it this morning, so I cancelled. Feeling exhausted, even though I went to bed last night around 8:30, and only got up around 4 a.m. this morning. That’s more sleep than I normally get during the week nights.  Been drinking more coffee during the daytime, and not liking the fact that I think I need it to make it through the day. Usually, I only drink it at home and then just toughen up during the daytime.”

  1. I am thankful today to not be in such a funk.  After I wrote that yesterday, I made myself kick my own ass into gear. It was hard, and definitely slow-moving, but I got moving nonetheless.
  2. A family member of mine ended a relationship this week. Without going into details, let’s just say if I ever come upon this other (now-ex) person in real life, they are going to get a good ass-kicking, because no one makes a sibling of mine feel the way my sibling did, NO ONE!! (Seriously, people, there is a reason some people refer to me as the Tasmanian Devil. Don’t get me pissed off!) (Just kidding…welllll…..) LOL (Really, I am very protective of my younger sibling, so when someone puts that sibling down, I get really upset.)
  3. It is finally Friday. I seem to be including that a lot in my lists lately….hmmmm
  4. I’ve felt really adrift lately, not exactly sure where I want to be next fall, but just knowing, not here. Been getting really down thinking of what the workamping salaries might be like. But I realized this morning, I can make it work, I just have to work really hard at also getting some sort of online thing going to create a bit of a buffer zone, financially speaking.
  5. The scooter – oh…the scooter…those of you who are friends with me on facebook know already – I just don’t feel comfortable riding it. In fact, I’m downright scared. Yes, after getting the motorcycle license and everything. I just get this feeling in my gut when I’m on it, that I shouldn’t be. So, now I’m trying to sell it, either via craigslist, or even possibly to a dealer.  Only thing I am grateful for is well, at least now I know what I DON’T LIKE, and what I DO LIKE.  For me, that’s the simplicity of my electric bike. ❤
  6. This morning, my Bonkers, my white cat with the funky ears that make him look like a teddy bear, came up to me and sat on my lap. Although he loves for me to pet him, and he purrs a lot, he’s never done that before. He got all snuggly this morning too. I hope it’s a forecast of more snuggles to come with him.

So anyway, there you have it, folks. I hope your week has been better than mine. But I do know that overall, I’ve got it good. I really can’t complain. Sometimes, the tired part of your brain just takes over and makes you whine. Which is annoying.

So anyway, if you have liked this post, please hit like or subscribe, or drop me a line below. I especially appreciate the comments, as I really want to establish or help grow a community on here. I love talking with and (hopefully eventually) meeting with people that I feel like I really connect to.

Have a great weekend!






Musings and Memories (and little things for which I am thankful)

My Bonkers/Bonk-Man earlier this week at Angell Memorial. He looks so sad....
My Bonkers/Bonk-Man earlier this week at Angell Memorial. He looks so sad….

I meant to write my usual “little things for which i am thankful” post last week, I really did. But between working all of my three jobs, and taking a motorcycle class this past weekend (ahem, I passed!!) it just didn’t happen. So, yes, that was a really exciting weekend for me! Met a lot of nice people and had a lot of fun. And I survived!!

So, um, why did I take a motorcycle class?? Well, I want to buy a scooter (which technically is a motorcycle, just one with an automatic transmission). In MA, if you want one that is more than 49cc, or goes faster than about 25 mph, you need to have a motorcycle endorsement on your license (if you’re like me, and already have the regular Class D one.) I saw the class was being offered this past weekend when by luck, I didn’t have to work either day, and I signed up. Yes, it was $285, but it was money well spent. You spend about 9 hours on the bikes out of the two days (which is a lot, trust me) and the instructors are so patient and helpful.

So….musings….I was thinking as I was on my way to the class this past Saturday morning – just what would my ex-husband say if he saw me now? Or my ex-boyfriend? Neither would probably believe it. And that’s important to me because it shows how far I have come! 🙂 I am so NOT the person either of them knew!

A favorite song of my ex-boyfriend was Pontoon by Little Big Town. I had completely forgotten that I had it downloaded on my iPod until it started playing on Monday morning while on my run. And you know what? It was bittersweet. And that tells me that I am healing or more possibly accurate, have healed from that time in my life. I remembered the good times, how he used to turn the stereo up a lot louder every time it came on and how he used to smile when he heard it. (He may have been born in the SW part of the US, but he is a southern boy through and through!)

But that’s it – I only thought of happy times with him, and while I was sorry it didn’t work out, I know it’s for the best. My heart and my mind are in tune with each other on this. It was when I started dating him that I realized there is a way of living without debt.  And he introduced me to Dave Ramsey and his philosophies (of which I agree with many, but not all), so those are two really good things that  came out of that relationship. He also taught me that yes, I am loveable, and can actually care about someone again.  That’s saying a lot because after my divorce, I was worried I wasn’t worthy of anyone else’s love, and that I was destined to be alone for the rest of my life. The difference between now and then is that these days, I’m ok with being on my own for what will probably be the foreseeable future.

You will see from the picture above that my Bonkers, my elder statesman, made the acquaintance of some doctors at Angell Memorial Hospital, which is very well known in this area for their level of care. I took him to my vet on Monday, thinking all he needed was an enema (lovely, I know.) I was bit worried because his bum looked sore and he had just had an enema two weeks before. So, long story short, he needed to go to Angell, where he could be sedated and looked at by a few doctors, one being a surgeon, to see if he had a hernia. Thankfully for him (and my wallet), he didn’t have a hernia. So instead of looking at what could have been a bill for $3500-4000, I got one for $1680. Relatively, a bargain!

But, it’s all worth it in my book to see him sitting in his cat bed and looking out the kitchen window. It’s amazing how even just one day at home and he looks so much more relaxed than he did yesterday when I picked him up. He knows he’s home. (He needs to go back for a check up next week just to make sure everything’s healing ok – he also had a rupture) but that’s just a quick in-and-out visit. 🙂  I am so glad he was taken care of, and he’s feeling better. I’m so grateful for the amazing care they took of him, and also that they called to update me on his progress at least twice a day. This picture was even texted to me by the hospital on Tuesday night – how sweet was that? It came with a note that said “good night from Bonkers.” And I’m so grateful to his regular vet for having called me tonight to check on his progress after she got the report from Angell about him.

My author is now on vacation until the beginning of September so my work will die down in that area just as the school year ramps up. She was also very pleased with my work that I did over the past few weeks, which always makes me feel good to hear. And, I’ve been given a few extra shifts at the gym through the month of September, which definitely comes in handy with Bonkers’ vet bills. And last but not least, I am very grateful that I have taken care of things in my life so that when this emergency came up, I wasn’t panicked about how I was going to pay for it. I knew I could. A few years ago, when my Chloe got sick, I was worried about if she would need surgery and how I would find the funds to pay for it. (Luckily, it didn’t come to that.)

My apologies for not posting my weekly gratitude post last week – as you can see, it’s been an insane two weeks! But, it’s all good. It’s all forward progress, even when the obstacles are thrown into your way. It’s just a matter of how you deal with them that changes. With that, I wish all of you a great weekend.

If you’ve liked this post, please hit like or subscribe, or drop me a line below! Thank you for reading!

Little Things for Which I am Thankful

It’s about 5 a.m. and I’m up because, well, I’m normally up at this time. But today I’m leaving at 6:30 to catch the T so I can also get a 7:30 a.m. commuter rail to Providence. I’m going to a conference/summit down there held by Perform Better and it’s for personal trainers and people in the fitness industry. So this is a really quick post!

1. I’m so glad I had the money back in May to pay for attending this conference, or that at least I prioritized and spent the money on the ticket. $289 was the Early Bird pricing, but I totally think it’s worth it. I am sponging up all the information I can get into my brain! Don’t get me wrong, I’m still learning things in my new career every day but not at this rate, since I’ve been doing it now for about 10 years.  But it’s been really refreshing to be at a conference where the speakers occasionally swear, and it’s considered normal if you are wearing gym clothes!!

2. My Bonkers, who was feeling kind of crappy last week (to put it lightly, he was constipated, so pun intended, I suppose!) is feeling much better this week or at least it seems.

3.  You can now buy your commuter rail tickets  your phone. No standing in line, or anything like that. I wish they had had that technology back when I lived in the suburbs – life would have been so much easier then!

4.  I’m so thankful for the support of friends and my family, especially my younger brother. When I made the hard decision to stop training for the marathon last week, you were all so supportive. And, sitting at the conference this week, feeling a ton of pain in my SI joint and glute, as well as my lower back, I know I made the right decision. I’m not working out over the next few days because of the schedule, so  my body will get a rest, anyway.  So, thank you, everyone, for supporting me.

Like I said, this is a very short post – please everyone, if you have liked it, please comment, subscribe or hit like! And also, more importantly, have a great and healthy weekend, whatever you are doing!





Little Things for Which I am Thankful

My Boy, Bonkers (who I also call The Bonk-Man), photo taken yesterday :-)
My Boy, Bonkers (who I also call The Bonk-Man), photo taken yesterday 🙂

If you are friends with me on Facebook or know me In Real Life, you know I’ve had a sick kitty over the past week or so – my “elder statesman” as I like to call him, Bonkers. He’s my oldest cat, at about 13 years old. He’s the one who had a rough first year of life when he got out in the cold of winter and got frostbite on his ears. So both of his ears are much shorter than most cats, and they are rounded, so he looks like a super cute teddy bear.

1. The first thing I am thankful for is that Bonkers appears to be on the mend. I’m in the process of gradually changing his food to one that is very high in fiber.  If any of you have or had pets, you know how stressful it can be when they are not feeling good. They can’t tell you what’s going on no matter how much they want to. (After a bout of diarrhea and vomiting, the medicine appeared to work too well and he became, well, constipated…poor guy….)  I don’t even care that his bills amounted to almost $560 over the past week, all I care about is that he is feeling better. And he’s definitely showing signs – his appetite is returning, and he’s hanging out with us more.

2.  It’s Friday, and I am really tired. But luckily, I don’t have to work on Saturday so I get at least one day off! (It’s the little things sometimes, really…)

3. My roomie got a job! She started on Thursday night, and I’m very happy for her. While I think my apartment is nice and all, I also think it could get depressing if you didn’t have anywhere else to go, ever. (Although there are all those furry creatures, so why would you ever want to leave them??)  This will do wonders for her self esteem, I’m sure of it.

4. I get paid from the gym job this week. It will put me at almost halfway to my savings goal for the motor home. I should hit that halfway savings goal by next Friday!!

5. I have such wonderful friends, both in person and in real life. This week, two of my online friends, J & J, sent me a gym shirt that says “Beautiful is the New Strong” and I absolutely love it!! It’s bright blue with pink lettering, so it’s super girly and super me. 🙂  Was it coincidence that one of the stronger guys at the gym showed me how to this arm-hang thing? I think not. Ladies, never let yourself be intimidated at the gym. You are JUST as strong as they are, so get out there and lift heavy!! No two-pound dumbbells!!

6. We started getting 80+ degree days this week – woohoo!! You know what this means – topless running! (For those of you who used to read my old blog, you know what this means…)

What are you thankful for this week? Please drop me a line and let me know! And if you have liked this post, please hit like or subscribe!