Gratitude – Page 2 – Chasing Simple Dreams

Let’s Catch Up, Shall We?

February 27, 2016Terri

IMAG0370_1 — Lake Powell from near my RV about an hour before sunset. Yes, I’ve edited the pic for color but it gives you an idea of just how beautiful it is.

So it’s been a busy few weeks since I last posted. I finished up the job at the animal sanctuary and then moved a few days ago to the small (but still bigger than where I just left) town of Page, AZ. You might not have heard of the town’s name, but it’s home to a huge lake (2nd largest reservoir) called Lake Powell. Simply put, it’s gorgeous. I don’t care what the naysayers say about “oh the lake’s level is down so far right now, it’s just a pond compared to what it once was… blah, blah, blah.” You know what? I’m not gonna let them rain on my parade because the view I see every morning and every evening makes it all worthwhile.

The move here was a bit rough at first – some downed trees, and the campsite I wanted didn’t have water running to it. So I ended up taking the site next to it, and am now just hoping the downed trees get cleaned up sooner rather than later. There are also some problems with the water at the new site, but they are workable. I also can’t wait to make my space more inviting – it will have to wait until I get a paycheck as I’ve used the credit card too much lately. But more inviting, it will definitely be! Luckily, the animals seem to have adjusted to the move rather quickly. For the first day, Callie and HoneyBun hid a lot and were clearly freaked out, but they seem to have recovered just fine by now, as you can tell from the photo below.

HoneyBun appears to have settled in comfortably.

So I also just started my new job this week. I will be supervising and yes, it’s been a while since i did that in any official capacity, so I’m a bit nervous, but think I’ve learned a lot over the years from my supervisors, both bad and good. Going to try to discard all the bad habits and things I saw, and do my best to keep the good, plus tweak those things with my own personal style. And you all know me, I like to research the hell out of anything so I’ve been reading some self-help/teach-yourself books on management, and will be trying to hone my people skills as well. I know it won’t all be easy but I hope to not disappoint the ones who believed in me enough to offer me the job.

When it comes to managing, in the past, I’ve tried to always lead by example and make it very clear to folks that I will never ask them to do something I’ve not done or won’t do myself. I hope that will come through loud and clear. And God knows, for 6 months, I took care of a lot of animal poop so I think it’s safe to say there isn’t much I won’t do, if it needs to be done. From what I hear, we get extremely busy in the summer and there will probably be some overtime in my future. If that’s the case, I’ve already decided I will be trying to save as much $ as I possibly can. If it works out for me here, I could see myself trying to buy a small house or condo.

I finally got to take a tour of the Glen Canyon Dam. It’s the second largest, and also Lake Powell is the second largest reservoir in the country, trailing just behind Lake Mead in terms of capacity. I will also be attending a fundraiser for the local animal shelter/adoption agency, known as PAAA (Page Animal Adoption Agency). Hoping to meet other like minded people there – something tells me I will!

IMAG0376 — One of the most gentle dogs I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. After his initial shyness, he and I are buddies now. I’ve been licked on the face several times to prove it. 🙂

I just started pet sitting for a good friend, and will be for the next week or so in the evenings. He has the most awesome, old-souled (yes, “souled” is a word, I’ve just created it!) dog that I swear is part Australian Shepard and Lab by the looks of him, shy but super-loving dog. (In the pic, he has a dog treat on his head. I was trying to bond with him at the time by lying next to him on the floor in the closet where he went and hid when I tried to take his pic. I think the treat convinced him enough to sit still for this one pic.) He also has a very handsome and talkative Siamese who has epilepsy and thus requires medication twice a day. I’ve never seen a cat take a pill so easily in my entire life. You just pop his mouth open and shove it in, and you’re done. Awesome! If I go to Lone Rock tomorrow (as you all know, one of my favorite places to be out here), I may be taking his dog along for the ride and an involved game of Fetch. (In case you are all wondering, yes, Baby O is doing just fine and she’s snoring next to me as I type this, in fact.)

Balloon coming in for a soft landing on the third and final day of the Kanab Balloons and Tunes festival. That was a perfect weather morning and as the balloon landed, I could hear the birds singing.

Before I left UT last week, I was able to take in a balloon festival with a new, but very good friend of mine. For three days, the balloons were able to get into the air, which is just awesome. They also had a Balloon Glow portion to the weekend where they had all the balloons set up on the street and at certain times, all would light up their balloons with the propane-powered hot air. It was a pretty amazing sight to see, and it just felt good to be leaving Kanab on an up, rather than down note.

It was so difficult to snap a photo at just the right time as the balloons were lit up!

In case any of you are wondering, yes it’s been two weeks since I’m completely Prozac free as I mentioned in my last post. I’m feeling great. I’ve been getting up and running in the mornings, and went to the local gym for the first time today. Had a great workout that left me feeling tired and famished, and a bit sore, which is just the way I like to feel at the end of a great workout. It’s a feeling I’ve not had in a long while, so I think things are looking up in that department and in so many others as well.

And on that note, I think I will end this post. Thanks as always for reading.

Off the Prozac!!!!

February 11, 2016Terri

The pic of my beauties, Osito and Max, has nothing to do with Prozac of course, but what would a blog post be without some of my furballs??!!

That’s right, folks, as of yesterday, all the Prozac is out of my system! Gone! Finito! Out of here!!

Those of you who have read my blog for a long time know how important this is to me and what a long road it’s been. I know my last post on the subject said that i was going to stay on it. And at the time, I did. But about five weeks ago, I just decided, “you know what? Maybe my occasional down-ish feelings right now are just situational. Or, just normal down periods, like everyone has. I wonder how I would feel if I were to just stop taking it for a day, and then maybe two. You know, see where it goes?” So, I did.

You see, 20 mg is usually the starting dose that they have you take. I remember the difference in the beginning – how that one little pill would make a subtle (but noticeable to me) difference in my alertness. It was if things were a bit “sharper.” Maybe heightened is another word to use to describe it. At any rate, that’s the best way I can describe it.

So, when I started my new regimen of no Prozac on a daily basis, this time I didn’t say anything to anyone other than my friend Dan, and one person here in UT, my friend, M. Dan isn’t local but he knows my struggles with this in the past so he was there to check up on me since we text/facebook message almost every day and he would notice any mood swings, if they occurred. Same thing for my friend here in Utah. They’re both people I trust a lot to tell me things straight up, No Bullshit. I think it’s important we all have at least one or two awesome people in our life like that, don’t you agree?

As I went for a run earlier today, I thought of how my life has changed in the past five years since I’ve been on Prozac. About how I’ve changed, internally, and what has gone on during that time, externally. It’s been quite the ride.

In five years, I’ve gotten divorced, and began volunteering with animals. I’ve had one serious long term and long distance relationship with someone who was completely different from my husband, and I learned I did have the capacity to love and be loved again. I was not completely broken and wouldn’t have to spend the rest of my life alone, as I feared when I first began thinking of leaving my marriage.

Back in Boston, I met some wonderful women who quickly formed a great circle of friends, and whom I miss greatly now. There is one in particular who even became a sister to me, Sarita. I call her family my “Massachusetts family.” While I knew I was lucky to have her and them in my life back then, as the saying goes, you never truly know what you have until you don’t have it anymore. I can keep up with all of them on facebook and the like, but it’s not the same when you can’t just call them up and say “hey, do you want to come over and hang out?” Sarita and I used to do that a lot – we just “got” each other, from the very beginning. I call her my sister by another mother. And I really miss her.

In those five years, I realized that working at a job that pays you well monetarily is not the end-all of life. I’ve given up a good paying job that just didn’t fulfill me anymore to move across the country to a place where I didn’t know a soul, and to where I could work with animals full-time. I thought that move was my dream come true, but have now realized, it wasn’t. I’m still figuring out why that is the case, but I’m confident in deciding it was not the place for me to stay, long term.

Yep, another picture of Zion, this one taken last week while I went with a friend! Btw, there are absolutely no changes made to this pic – the sky was actually THAT blue!

And again, I’ve made one very good friend here who I know I will miss seeing on an almost-daily basis, M. I’m using that initial for her first name and for the fact that many of us call her “Mom” at work. Seeing her makes me smile because she always tries to get through every day with a positive attitude. She is the one who taught me to start the day with a hug from someone who cares. I’m comforted by knowing she will only be 75 miles away or so, rather than the 2500+ distance that separates me and Sarita, but it’s scary to think of starting over again, you know? Once again, being the new person in town. However, while it’s scary, it’s also exciting. I get to see things again for the first time. And this time, I do have a friend who already lives in town, J.

These friendships have made me realize I was not really living and trying to be my authentic self when I was married. I was going through the motions of life, carrying out what I thought was supposed to be my dream life. Having a house and a dog and a husband to come home to every night. Having friends in the form of other couples (who were really his friends and not mine) to hang out with. Having a healthy(ier) bank account and less worries, knowing there was someone else to lean on. I didn’t work so hard to create friendships of my own. There were a few individuals I was friends with, but those friendships, while one or two may still continue on today, were not as strong or intense as the ones I made afterward, while on my own.

It was beautiful to see the Virgin River flowing and looking so clear, compared to how it looks in the summertime.

While I was running, I was also thinking, how I feel like I’m a different person, or a bit of a different person, than I was five years ago. It’s weird though- physically, I’m still the same (if not wanting to be in the same shape as I was in after the divorce) person, but mentally and philosophically, there have been many changes. And I think there are many more to come.

What is that saying – if something doesn’t scare you, then it’s not worth doing? Well, then I guess this move of location and job is worth doing.

No Matter How Old You Are, You’re Still Someone’s Baby

January 12, 2016Terri

WP_20160110_09_32_46_Pro — These two will always be my babies, even though they are 14. (Bonkers and Osito)

I talked to my mom last night on the phone. As usual, she worried about me “freezing to death” in this RV of mine. No matter how many times I have told her I am ok, I have lots of warm blankets, and the animals to curl up with at night, plus two space heaters, she still worries. She worries about the heat and the money situation. She’s a mom. I’m 43, and she’s turning 77 this year, but I’m still her middle child.

After I hung up the phone, I realized I should have said to her, “Mom, don’t worry about me. You taught me right.” We didn’t have a lot growing up, and she ended up cleaning houses after my parents split, to make ends meet and also to be home when we got home from school. But what she taught me is that there is always a way to make things work. I may not make a lot of money right now, and it does seem frustrating when I figure out my bills for the next pay period and see “wow, I’ve got like 120 to make it through including my food and gas” but then I remind myself, it’s doable. I don’t need a lot. And I only have that small amount because I am insisting on putting some money into savings every month. I refuse to live, as they say “paycheck to paycheck.” It is very, very important to me to have a cushion. If there’s one thing I have learned over the past several years, it’s that I never EVER want to go back to that feeling of having pretty much nothing in the bank and a maxed out credit card to boot.

When I tell people that I think my fifth wheel is too big for me and my fur family, you should see the looks I get from some people. It’s quite clear that they think I’m insane. But what I see is a big trailer that has high ceilings, which, while I love their sense of openness, cost more to heat, and cool. What I see is that in the evenings, after I eat my dinner, we all hang out together in the bedroom portion of the fifth wheel (in my case, it’s a front bedroom so it would be the part of the trailer that would be hanging over the bed of the truck, if there was one attached.) We all hang out on my cozy bed, with a space heater cranking away, and either a good book or a TV show or something on netflix to keep us comfy. They tend to gather close to me, and I feel very loved. When I wake up in the morning, they are usually all still there.

So, we don’t need all this space. I don’t need the big closet that spans the width of my trailer. I have two dresses I brought with me from Boston, and have yet to wear them. None of my clothes need to be ironed. (In fact, I don’t even own one and plan on never needing one again.) I could fold them all and put them in bins and be just fine, which would most likely be the case in a smaller RV.) My animals are all seniors (two turn 15 this year) so they don’t have all the crazy energy of young kittens and puppies. They like to be warm and to rest. (As I write this, one is sitting on my lap with his head on the table – if he could reach the computer keyboard to rest it there, trust me, he would.)

Making a lot less money than I ever have before in my life, I realize now what is important to me. The beauty of the natural world around me, good friends, the love of my animals, a great book to keep me company (currently reading Man’s Search for Meaning, by Victor Frankl, which was a gift from someone and I highly recommend it). Food that allows me to retain my health. Exercise to keep myself strong. Having my priorities straight for my life and trying to evade the negativity of others and the world when it rears its ugly head. Making sure I have enough food to feed myself and my animals. Knowing I will see family in just less than two weeks when my brother embarks on yes, another 100 mile race, and when my sister will be coming to visit in February. It’s these things I have been trying to focus on, rather than what I don’t have.

And yes, Mom, not freezing to death in the winter. 🙂

What do you focus on to ground yourself in this life?

As always, thank you for reading.

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Thankful

December 12, 2015Terri

Yep, another pic from Zion. This is from a location that is east of the big tunnel.

The other day I wrote how I’ve been feeling kind of down lately. It definitely helped to get it out onto paper (or in this case, the screen.) I also decided to write down a list of things that I was thankful for, as I figured that would make me realize how good things really are. You know, look at the glass as hall full, not half empty. So here is what I came up with, and it’s not in a particular order of importance.

my animals and their good health
a roof over my head
a job that pays my bills (barely, but I do live frugally)
warm clothes
warm bed to sleep on
my car runs reliably
neighbors who look out for me
my family is in good health (relatively, anyway)
my best friend, Sarita
my writing ability
the full tank of gas that was in my car at the time
I have friends that care about me
I can choose where I want to be next year
I can walk and breathe fresh air.

In addition to all of this, I had a really good conversation earlier this week with someone who has offered to mentor me with my writing. Out of the goodness of her heart. I’ve had people come out of the blue, just from reading my blog, offering to help me, in various ways. I can’t tell you how much that means to me.

Thank you so much to everyone who read my last post and responded and offered support and encouragement. It helped a ton. Even though I’ve talked about depression and other things on this blog, I was still very afraid to write that post. There is still always this stigma about it. But it always helps me to write about it and get it out. Cathartic, in a way. And also, I got more back into my gym routine this week and it helped. One of the regular ladies there in the mornings reads my blog and we had a good talk.

It’s important to always be thankful, isn’t it?

Thank you for reading, as always.

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Updates: Amazon Affiliate Link, NaNoWriMo, Book Reviews and Changes to the Website, and THANK YOU!

October 31, 2015November 9, 2015Terri

So, this has been an insanely busy week every night after I’ve gotten home from work, so I’ve not been able to update the blog much other than responding to comments (which I love by the way, so please keep them coming!), but I wanted to give everyone an update of what is going on in this little circle of my world.

First, a HUGE thank you to everyone who has responded to and read through my post on my financial picture. I agree, cutting expenses even more will be difficult (but that doesn’t mean I can’t do it), so I need to add to my income if I’m going to have much hope on paying off the RV and car early. So my plan so far is this (and not necessarily in this order):

bust my butt to get a second job (have started making calls to local businesses and will be grabbing applications after work this evening and coming week)
send in my invoice to my author for work I did before I moved out here
become an Amazon affliliate (this has already been done, please see the link in my sidebar)
write an ebook (or two or three, as much as I can inspire myself to get down on paper!)
start learning more web-based and other marketable skills through Lynda.com (my employer has obtained access to this for all employees, so it will cost me nothing!)

Second, yesterday, a co-worker mentioned NaNoWriMo, which I have heard about before but never taken part in. No good time like the present to join in the fun, right? The goal is to write a novel in a month, and it is a huge community of writers who attempt to do the same thing. The goal is ostensibly to write 50,000 words in a month and there are forums you can join, prompts you can use, etc., to get that creativity flowing. I plan on using this to keep me motivated.

Third, in case you’re unfamiliar with the Amazon Affiliate Program, the way it works is that if you shop Amazon through my affiliate link, it doesn’t cost you anything extra, but a small percentage (I’m not sure of the exact amount) will be then returned to me in consideration of my having the link on my website.

Finally, you may notice I have a page on my blog called Helpful Books. It has languished a bit for a while but no more! I plan on adding resources to this as well as book reviews. If you have a suggestion of a book to read or a resource that has helped you, whether it’s on budgeting, RVing, living frugally, inspiration to live your dreams or life your way, etc., please let me know! (There’s an easy way to do it by just filling out the form on that page too.) I’ve already received a suggestion or two on books to add to that page, so stay tuned, those will be added shortly.) 🙂 I am also hoping that I can learn some new skills through Lynda.com, as mentioned above, to update and customize this website as well. It might involve paying for a blog theme, instead of the free one that I currently use, but let’s see what I can learn and do on my own first!

Have a great weekend, everyone, and as always, thanks for reading!

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Have You Ever?

September 15, 2015September 15, 2015Terri

Zion National Park, river after the storm.

Have you ever….

Had one of those days where you can’t stop smiling?
Zion National Park, before the storm.
Been so happy you find yourself hugging your knees to your chest, and thinking, now THIS….this is what life is all about?
Been so excited to accomplish so many things and dreams and goals that you don’t know where to even start, or which to focus on first?
Found yourself looking at such gorgeous scenery around you and wondering how it is you are so lucky to be able to experience it?
Had so many ideas flowing from your brain you wonder how to go about writing them all down without missing one?
Wanted to share every beautiful image you’ve come across in one day with another or others, but been afraid to overwhelm them?
Been so thankful to be alive?

View of the incoming storm from the Lower Pool, of the Emerald Pools Trail at Zion National Park.

Please drop me a comment below and let me and other readers know! Thank you for reading, as always! Hope you enjoy the pictures, all taken with my phone at Zion National Park!

Yes, I Can (fight my way out of depression). No More A Victim.

May 9, 2015May 9, 2015Terri

First off, I am finding this break to be such a blessing. It’s allowing me to get more in touch with myself and find out why I let some things bother me and the ways I’ve coped with them in the past, vs. ways I can cope with them in the future. It’s allowing me time away from a job that, quite honestly, I was feeling really burnt out on. I was finding myself falling into negativity pretty easily, letting the thoughts of others sometimes overcome my own and shape the way I looked at some things. I I hadn’t taken time off in a long time because I’m trying to save up as much vacation time as possible for later this summer. Needless to say, I’m hoping my attitude changes when I go back.

Still not allowed to run yet, so this morning, I listened to the Rich Roll Podcast while doing my three loops around the reservoir (for a bit over 4.7 miles in total!) (By the way, I just saw a few minutes ago that he interviewed Gene Baur of Farm Sanctuary!) He now has a book out called the Plant Power Way, which I plan on reading. Eight years ago, he was overweight and didn’t have much motivation or enthusiasm for life. Now he’s an elite ultra runner and athlete. So much of his change is due to a change in attitude and also his diet. His podcasts tend to run a bit long but I found the one from this morning really, really inspiring.

I’ve been talking with a friend lately about how I would like to wean myself off of my antidepressants, but that a part of me is scared. I’m worried about the withdrawal symptoms that can come with that. How will I know what is a withdrawal or discontinuance symptom and what is not? I’m very happy with my life right now and how I feel about myself for the most part, so a small part of me questions, is that really the true new me, or is the meds creating that feeling of goodness?

Here’s what hit me this morning. I think I’ve been allowing myself to think about the whole weaning off of antidepressants, in a victim type of way. In the past when I’ve tried to do so, I’ve really paid close attention to any supposed “withdrawal/discontinuance symptoms.” Maybe too close. Who says I have to be one of those folks who suffers from them? Not everyone does. Maybe it’s literally mind over matter that I need to use. Isn’t all of it or a large portion of how you heal from any illness or medical (or otherwise) problem how you face it? With a positive attitude? I mean, I was able to give up coffee cold turkey and I always felt like that was a drug that I absolutely needed. I was able to change to vegetarian overnight. And I was able to, once I finally put my mind to it, turn vegan, pretty quickly as well. (I was able to come home one night and just get rid of all of my clothes that included wool without a second thought.) So why not this, as well? I definitely didn’t think I would be up to walking almost five miles at a pop after just two and a half weeks after major abdominal surgery!

When I was walking this morning, this hit me like a lightning bolt. I found myself smiling at a lot of people (some were returned, others not), and i found myself feeling as excited as the day when I decided to go vegan. I’ll be honest, though, it’s excitement mixed with fear. But if there’s one thing I have learned over the past few years, it’s that I need to push myself beyond my comfort zone if I’m going to continue growing. If I just settle for what feels safe, I’ll look back at my life (much) later on and wonder where it all went. I’m not willing to do that. Not anymore. And that is totally within my power.

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What a difference a week makes, and other things

April 28, 2015April 28, 2015Terri

This face...how can you NOT love this face??!! I took this last night as she was getting ready for bed. She sleeps right next to me. — This face…how can you NOT love this face??!! I took this last night as she was getting ready for bed. She sleeps right next to me.

Wow. I had my surgery one week ago today. I remember waking up in the recovery room and being like “yep, this is what I remember the pain to be from the last time.” They gave me one of those handheld control things where you can click on the button to give yourself a dose of pain medication when you want it. Seeing as I was in pain, every time it lit up, I pressed it. Later on, they told me “we couldn’t believe how much morphine you gave yourself. How are you awake right now?” and the best line from one of the nurses (and I think she was serious) was “do you do street drugs?” (I think my answer was obvious when it was clear I had no idea what she was asking. I was like “um, I’m a runner?!” once another nurse clarified the question for me. I admit, I was a bit insulted. It was taking everything I had to just stay awake and answer her questions, and now she’s insulting me for it? I got the impression she was very bothered at having to take care of me. (Luckily she was only there for one shift, of which most of it, I slept, due to the effects of the aforesaid morphine.) Everyone else was much nicer.

After a week of percocet (yay, I love percocet, and no, it doesn’t bother my stomach at all, as many people have asked), and ibuprofen, I’m almost out of the percocet but definitely feeling more like myself. I want to get out there and run and I look at the runners around the reservoir with envy, but i know i have to take it easy. Not walking up stairs seems to be key. When I do, it seems like my incision tightens up or something, and I’m reminded “um, you just had surgery last week, you know.” Anywho, it does appear that the swelling in my stomach is starting to go down. I’m still hoping for that flat tummy, and I will have it, only a matter of time. (Yes, I am determined.) I am utterly convinced that my being in shape BEFORE the surgery is totally helping with my recovery AFTER the surgery. As long as I don’t sneeze (as I did the other day and burst a blood vessel in my leg, wow, that hurt!) or laugh too much, the healing will continue.

My mom has been visiting since last Thursday and has been a huge help. She gets bored just sitting around so she already cleaned my entire kitchen so it looks like it’s completely brand new, much better than I could have done. Makes me inspired to look inside my fridge now – it’s super clean and organized! Of course, having my furballs around me 24/7 is also a huge help on my mental outlook. It’s going to be so hard to go back to work when my healing time is over!

This week I will attend a training session so I can start doing independent contract work as a bar essay review grader – basically what it means is that people who are studying for the bar can do practice essays to prepare for the real thing. Then I get to grade them, and I get paid for my work. I passed the bar in three states, so these three I will start with (and was glad to see they are some of the more high paying states) and then I will see if I have time to do grading for other states. Just have to get myself certified for each state in which I want to grade. Looking forward to making some extra cash and putting it toward my savings. Granted, a lot of the work for that won’t start to hit until after the middle of May when bar review actually starts, but by then, I”l be done with classes (by next week actually!) and then I’ll still be off work. Since I don’t plan on taking more than one class this summer (medical terminology), I figure I can use the time wisely. That and to sell off stuff I don’t use anymore, or donate.

My stress level has definitely gone down since last week or the last day of work, about ten days ago. I’ve been able to get caught up on schoolwork, and even finish everything for one class, although admittedly, the workload for that class was negligible. I think it’s being home so much with my animals who have such a calming influence has something to do with it. I wish I could always spend this much time with them! I’ve also been able to watch a lot of youtube videos of financial vloggers and am getting inspired at their progress at paying off debt and also saving at the same time. I’m an information junkie and admit it, I’m always ready to learn about new things, tips or tricks, and especially when it comes to finances and animals. I’ll add links to some of their channels on this blog in case you are curious.

I’m putting together ideas for more posts on this blog – since I have the time, I’d like to be more productive with it, and also use it to discuss causes and topics that really mean a lot to me.

One other thing I did – as you can see below, I’ve been collecting change for a bit of time now. Added it up and had $36.31 in total, so tonight my mom and I rolled coins together. I put everything that’s rolled up in my little fire-proof safe. And from now on, I’m going to be more vigilant about picking up change I see – in just the past two days, I found 26 cents! (Hey, mock if you will, but every little bit does add up eventually. There are even blogs out there of people who update their tally every day of found change.)

Total = 36.30. Not bad for just being loose spare change. Always keep your eyes to the ground, you never know what you might find.

Feeling blessed

April 11, 2015April 11, 2015Terri

Sometimes it’s the simple things that set you up for having a good day and a good mood. For me, this morning, it was running before sunrise. My beloved reservoir has finally completely unfrozen, and if you start running early enough, you can have it all to yourself. On Saturday mornings, I need to open the gym by 8 a.m. so if I’m going to work out before then, it’s going to have to be pretty early! So this morning, I got my butt up and got running by around 5:45. Sunrise was set for about 6:13 a.m. There is just something about being able to run while the moon is still out and the sun is starting to come up.

I run to music but I kept my loudness level down for the first loop around, just so I could hear the geese calling to each other, and also for safety reasons, in case anyone was to sneak up on me. Right now, the vegetation around the reservoir has yet to fill in (our spring explosion of color has not happened yet, but I suspect it might start this week as the temperatures are slowly starting to creep upward.) It was just a short run – probably about 3.3 or 3.5 miles in total but it was all I knew I had time for and it was just enough to wake me up and feel blessed for being able to run.

I know that after my surgery, I won’t be able to run for about 6 weeks. I’ll only be able to ride a stationary bike or walk which is going to be hard for someone as active as me. I also can’t lift any weights more than 8 pounds for 6 weeks. I usually dumbbell press 30 pounds in each hand right now, so I hope to not lose too much of my fitness. I know this surgery is necessary if I want to get rid of these fibroids and start feeling more like myself when I look in the mirror.

To explain what I mean about my stomach — the doc told me the other day that my uterus is about the size of a woman who is 20 weeks into her pregnancy. So you can imagine how depressing and disheartening it has been for someone who normally works out 4-5 times per week to look in the mirror and see that. However, in the last month as I have changed my diet, I’ve seen the stomach I used to know come back, slowly. Parts of my abs are becoming more defined as I’ve been trying to work them hard in advance of the surgery. The middle bulge is still there, but I know its days are limited and that makes me extremely happy.

Again, I’m not a vain person but I do pride myself on being able to push myself harder than a lot of folks who are my age. I like being the girl dressed in pink at the gym, standing next to the guys in the free weights section and being able to use some of the same size weights as them for some exercises! The hard work pays off as most people think I’m a lot younger than I really am. And the change in my diet to being vegan has also done a great deal for my self-esteem or morale. I used to think of how little will power I had when I would walk by cookies or cakes, etc., and now I can look at something and if it has “milk” or dairy in it, I just think of the animals that have suffered for it, and it’s amazing how that urge goes away.

The sun has started to shine a lot more in the northeast after several days of drizzle and rain. It is so freeing to no longer be a slave to the bus schedule! When I’m riding along in the rain and beginning to feel miserable about the weather, I just think to myself how much money I’m saving by using my own two legs to get back and forth to places, rather than driving a car. That, and the fact that my rain jacket and rain pants were SO worth the money I spent on them. 🙂

The weather really does affect how I feel about my day to day life, and so I am glad I am going to be someplace warmer by next year. You can see the differences in Bostonian’s faces as the weather warms – we’re still “tough” on the outside, but you can tell people are feeling better with the warmth. During that period of February when we got almost 9 feet of snow, I cannot tell you how miserable and exhausted everyone was, but I’m sure your imagination can fill in the gaps. I’ve never heard so many car horns with so much frequency, and that’s saying something in this town, known for its rude drivers!

I was also able to see a good friend yesterday that I had not seen in a while. She’s part of our animal loving “tribe.” She said that when she came into my apartment she felt like she was looking at one of those pictures that asks “how many cats do you count in this picture?!” She held Osito for a little while and Osito worked her usual magic, licking her hands as her way of giving kisses. It’s impossible to not love that little girl when she does that or plays “hard to catch” and runs back and forth in the living room with me. (I’m telling you, for an almost completely blind dog, she gets around pretty well!)

Anyway, this is all my long-winded way of saying how blessed and grateful I feel on days like today. I know in my heart that I’m on the right path. As I found myself picking out kitchen cabinets the other day, I thought to myself, “wow, this is so surreal.” After so many months of planning, things are starting to fall into place. I watched another movie the other day that had profound effects on me – I’ll write more about it in a separate post, and started reading a book called Farm Sanctuary by Gene Baur. With every page I read, I think my future is becoming clearer and clearer. It’s a great feeling, one I wish for all of you.

Have a great weekend! If you’ve liked this post, please hit like or subscribe or drop me a line below and let me know for what reasons you feel blessed some days!

Little Things for Which I am Thankful

March 21, 2015March 21, 2015Terri

All bundled up for the first walk of spring -a sweater, a jacket and a scarf! I <3 Osito. — All bundled up for the first walk of spring -a sweater, a jacket and a scarf! I ❤ Osito.

My friend Kelvin, over at Going Uncomplicated, recently wrote a post about his trip to Haiti last year. Even though he didn’t write it as a minimalism post, it really made me think. We live in such a world of abundance, and there are so many people out there that have barely anything to their name. Some of them are happy, some aren’t. But I will be that more of us in the “first world” with our “first world problems” are unhappy, even with all of our stuff.

After I read Kelvin’s post, I thought to myself, and here I am – my goal is to pare down my clothes so I only have one dresser, and some in my closet. God, we don’t know how lucky we have it! Anyway….

It snowed this morning. NO, I am not thankful for that, but I have to admit, it makes it seem all the better when the sun shines around here. I’m sincerely hoping it is the end of it, but who knows?
I took Osito out for her first walk of spring. Although we didn’t go that far (she is 14 and we have to build her endurance back up again for our summertime walks/carries), I could tell she was happy and relieved to be outside. Even little ones like to feel the sun on their face, you know?
I’m going to be seeing my best friend and her husband tonight for dinner. I don’t usually go out to dinner, and I don’t get to see her or them often enough, so it’s a definite treat for me. Something to look forward to and motivate me to get some stuff done, like this post.
Some of you are friends with me on facebook so you already know this, but I am thankful that my surgery to have my fibroids removed (and other body parts) has been scheduled. April 21st, I go under the knife. I am happy that it is the day AFTER the Boston Marathon, as I live on the route, and I love to cheer the runners on, elite runners, complete strangers and friends. Also, I’m lucky to have a few people offering to help me out with rides, pet duty, etc.
Speaking of the Boston Marathon, Jill of Jill Will Run will be staying with me this year. This is HUGE. We have known each other online for 7 years now and we have never met face to face, before now! I’m really looking forward to taking her around to see the sights of Boston.
I paid my taxes this week. NO, I’m not thankful for the fact that I owed (due to my 1099 work last year), but I am grateful that I had the money saved to pay them.
The snow is melting. Finally! I can even see some of the soft dirt on the path around the reservoir behind my building. I’m hoping to go for a run myself this coming week, as my cold is just about gone. I think will do immeasurable things for my outlook and self-esteem.

Anyway, folks, just a short post today, which Kelvin’s post inspired me to write. (By the way, if you haven’t checked out his blog, you definitely should. He’s a great writer.)

If you’ve liked this post, please hit like or subscribe or drop me a line below!

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