Author: Terri

Holidays can be tough

Terri
my christmas tree
my christmas tree

Luckily, this year won’t be as tough as it has been in the past. When I was first on my own a few years ago, I was terrified at the thought of spending Christmas alone in my apartment. I didn’t think I could bear the sadness and the feelings of guilt that I had created that sadness for myself by deciding to end my marriage. So, I went to my sister and her family and I had a really good time with people who love me and whom I love very much in return.

When deciding whether to come visit me or my brother for Christmas, my mom said “I just don’t want you to be alone for the holidays. As long as you have someone to be with….” and this year I do. My best friend is Jewish and her husband and I both really love the Fast and Furious movies. So, we are going to have a Fast and Furious Paul Walker Memorial Marathon. (And yes, I have agreed to watch even number 3, Tokyo Drift, although I thought it was awful and can’t believe it gets credit for being part of the series. It’s the only one in which Paul Walker does not appear, fyi.)

The holidays can be tough though, if you let them be. I won’t deny that I have had some feelings of wistfulness or nostalgia overcome me over the past few days, knowing that I was down south last year at this time, spending 10 days with the man I loved and meeting his family. That has replaced the feeling of loneliness I used to have, thinking of my ex-husband and how much he loved Christmas. So, that’s a good thing.

As I said to a friend yesterday, when those feelings about last year arise in me, I acknowledge them, and realize they are there for a reason. And then, I think to myself whether it will make me feel good to give into them, or if I can choose to press on forward. I have found that pressing on forward is the best choice, at least for me.  I feel like by acknowledging them, I am not repressing them, but just recognizing them for what they are. Feelings. Feelings that I can choose to let bring me down or wallow in, or feelings to acknowledge how my life has changed.  Guess those anti-depressants are working, huh? 🙂

I don’t mean to be taking any of this lightly. I know it’s more than the medication at work. It’s the hard work I have done on myself that allows me to handle things now. So, some days when I feel like my dream of being on the west coast, training and writing, and helping to save more animals somehow, all while living in my tiny house/RV/shipping container (I’m open to whatever it turns out to be) seems really far away, I try to acknowledge those feelings of hopelessness or sadness and work through them. I remind myself I have focus now, and a great group of friends who I trust will still be there for me when I move. And, there are a couple people out there on the west coast that I will be physically closer to, and with whom the bonds of friendship will be even stronger, I suspect.

When I start to feel sad about what I don’t have, I try to remind myself what I do have. I don’t have as much money saved as I wanted to by this time of year, but I do have more in past years. And I now have a really comfy new-to-me big chair on which I can sit and look out the window, or at all of my furbabies and my christmas tree all lit up. I have freelance work to keep me busy over my days off, family to go to on Christmas Eve, and a warm, comfy roof over my head. It’s a lot more than others have.

Thank you for reading, and have a wonderful holiday (or just day off, if you don’t celebrate it.) In that case, a belated happy thanksigivika to you!

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Little Things for Which I am Thankful

Terri
Three of my babies: Max, HoneyBun and Sebastian
Three of my babies: Max, HoneyBun and Sebastian

I woke up this morning to find four of my cats sleeping on the bed with me – guess they all like it to be cozy in the winter! My list below is a combination of both silly and not-so-important things, as well as more serious subjects. I feel fortunate to be leading a full life right now. Read more →

Getting Rid of my Debt, Part 6

Terri

I was going to write this as a Making Progress Mondays post, but the day got away from me yesterday. Sorry!

The last week has been kind to me. Not a ton of progress in the cutting debt area, overall, but the hope for saving and paying off debt definitely increased. I am going to be working at a gym as a front desk person, hopefully in January. I have officially been hired and will probably just be the fill in person but you never know when that could become more permanent! AND I have started doing freelance work for someone I worked with a few years ago. At times,  when I’m working on her book, it feels like no time has passed, but I know it has. Because I am different now. I have a real focus to my work I didn’t have before.  And I LOVE IT!

The debt total stands at this today, having just made some payments on my personal loan and my LAL loan.

  • Simmons loan: $23,620.04 (paying interest only right now)
  • Big Daddy loan: $75,390.94 (paying interest only right now)
  • LAL loan: $20,437.99
  • Personal loan: $633.85

GRAND TOTAL:$120,082.82

Total as of Dec. 1st: $120,563.23 

DIFFERENCE = $481 decrease in debt!!

On a completely unrelated topic, I just finished reading a book, This I Know: Notes on Unraveling the Heart, by Susannah Conway, which I highly recommend. She writes from such a place of openness and I just found it to be really refreshing. I also felt like a lot of what she wrote was written for me (although I know that’s not the case.) That’s how much her writing spoke to me. I found I was bookmarking almost every single page.

Have you ever read a book that touched you like that? Please let me know if you have  — I’m always on the lookout for good books, especially now that the snow, ice and cold weather have come to New England and I’ll be running on a treadmill a lot more. (Having broken my anterior fibula last year, I’m becoming a bit of a scaredy-cat when it comes to running outside on snow and ice.)

I’ve also begun reading Bleating Hearts: The Hidden World of Animal Suffering, by Mark Hawthorne, which a friend told me was on sale today on Amazon for .99!! (Kindle version, it’s usually more like $34 to buy.) I’ll let you know in a future animal issues post what I think of it. So far, it’s looking really good.

If you’ve liked this post, please hit “like” or subscribe or drop me a comment below, and thanks for reading!

Little Things for Which I am Thankful

Terri
My baby girls, Callie and HoneyBun. So cute and snuggly (HoneyBun is kneading her bed in bliss.)
My baby girls, Callie and HoneyBun. So cute and snuggly (HoneyBun is kneading her bed in bliss.)

I wish I could say I was thankful for the extremely cold weather we are having in the Northeast, but I can’t. I hate the cold. That’s why I want to move someplace a lot milder!  However, there are many things I am thankful for this week.

  1. I was officially offered a part-time front desk job at the gym where I work out – yay! I’m hoping this means that my monthly membership is going to be free, as that would be a savings of $59/month. I’m also really hoping to gain a lot of knowledge about the inner workings of the health and fitness industry. Not to mention that I will be taking all the money I earn from it and put it in my tiny house fund, or to pay off debt! (I’m thinking the tiny house is the place I would most like for it to go.)
  2. Though it’s been frigid all week, it has made for some incredible sunrises. As I walk into the gym from the bus, I have a great view of the Boston skyline. Some mornings, the sky is a fiery red. The other day, the grayish clouds hanging over the skyline were so solid and opaque looking that they looked like mountains behind the buildings.
  3. Really frigid mornings make for extremely short “pee and poop” trips outside with baby Osito! If time permits, when we come back in, I hold her on my chest like a baby to help her warm up. Doing that, she gives me lots and lots of doggie kisses!
  4. I was also contacted by someone to do some freelance research on a book – yay again! This lady is super awesome and so down to earth. And, right now, I’m very focused on doing the best I can do at whatever project I set out to do.
  5. I’ll be gaining more space in my studio tomorrow when I give my old bike to someone off of Freecycle. It feels good to be giving it to someone who can really use it, and I can already tell by our phone call and our emails, that she is going to REALLY appreciate it.
  6. The heat broke in my apartment last night, but the guys who take care of the building are so awesome, they had it working again within a half hour! Warm and toasty!
  7. After the payment I just made today on my personal loan clears, the balance will be about $633!!
  8. Memories. Yes, memories. They remind me of what life used to be like, and while sometimes they can make you sad, or nostalgic, you can learn from them, time and time again. Literally.

What are you thankful for this week?

” Happiness is Not a Limited Resource” — Chris Aiff

Terri

I wish I could have the introspection and insight of the young man to whom this quote is attributed. I really can’t improve upon his wisdom and that of his family in the video below. The first time I watched it, it really clicked and as many people who have commented on it on YouTube said, it really affected the way I look at things. If we are unhappy, it’s because we make ourselves unhappy. We can choose to go that route, or to go the route of happiness. I choose the latter.

Please let me know what you think of this video. I watched it again tonight and it had a profound impact on me again. I’ll write about my progress that I usually note on Mondays on a later post this week.

Enjoy.  Even if you cry like I did the first time I saw this, I assure you, the second time through, you will be smiling at his outlook.

Little Things for Which I am Thankful

Terri
So blessed to have caught this moment in time!
So blessed to have caught this moment in time!

It’s Friday, so time for my weekly Friday post which reminds me of how lucky I am to be alive in this world. I hope it encourages you to feel the same way, even if you’ve had a tough week.

Also, thank you to all of you who read my blog, even if you don’t comment. I just checked the subscriptions to it, and I just can’t believe there are people out there reading! Thank you!  And thank you so much to the gentleman from Time for Action, who re-posted my post about animal rights. (Please check out his page if you are interested in animal rights too!)
Read more →

What makes us do this?

Terri

As I was riding my bike to work this morning, I was thinking about a picture I had seen posted on facebook. It was of many, many dogs thrown into what looked like a dumpster of sorts, and you could see that many of them had leashes or ropes tied around their snouts. I couldn’t tell if they were dead in the photo, but I hoped, that for their sake, that they had already crossed that Rainbow Bridge. The story connected to the photo told of an organized act that had gathered up these animals and then brutally slaughtered them. (Don’t worry, I haven’t included any gruesome photos in this post as I want to open up a dialogue.) Read more →

Animal Rights: how to keep going when you feel like you’re getting nowhere

Terri
I wish all animals could live such a peaceful life.
I wish all animals could live such a peaceful life.

I am lucky enough at my full-time job to be able to go to various talks with amazing speakers. The other day, the Student Animal Legal Defense Fund sponsored a visiting faculty member to give a talk about animal rights –he used to work for the Animal Legal Defense Fund. This being a lunchtime talk, food was offered, of course, but not just pizza. We had falafel and lots of other vegan and vegetarian friendly foods. Yum yum!

His talk centered on the ridiculousness (my characterization) of some of the anti-cruelty laws, in that they would leave out scenarios that would obviously be considered animal cruelty to any reasonable person. He also talked about the court systems and how far behind they are in advancing animal rights.  He talked about case in which he was involved, where a goat had killed its owner after years of being tortured, and then the question became whether or not to “put down” the goat. (The abuse was confirmed by the deceased’s widow.) He argued that case and the goat was able to live out its natural life on a farm, thankfully. Now, some people may laugh and say that defending a goat is just not worth it, but to animal lovers everywhere, I think they would disagree.  

I you think back, just under 100 years ago, women were not able to vote. Someone had to fight for that right.  African-Americans were treated unequally for many years (and many may say, still are today.)   The fight for animals to be treated as living beings with feelings has to start somewhere, that’s what I am saying.  (As a post-script, I just saw that such a case is being brought in upstate NY with a chimp.  It was also reported in the NY Times.)

Below are some of his memorable statements that made enough of an impact on me to write them down.

  1. “Focus on the wins, not the losses.”
  2. At the end of the day, think back and be able to say this to yourself “I made a difference, and the difference is a good one.”
  3. “If you can reduce the suffering in the world by any amount, that is a move in the right direction.”
  4. “When you hear that little nagging voice telling you something is wrong, don’t do it.”
  5. “Each day, make it a little better.”

My full time job is as a reference librarian, as some of you may know. After the talk was over, I went up to the student who had put the event together and gave her a little note that had my contact details, what my job was, and the fact that I am the proud mother of five cats and a 12 year old chihuahua.  As soon as I did so, she literally hugged me! I’ve never had that kind of reaction from a student before upon meeting me, but I immediately hugged her back. That’s something I might have done! I’m telling you, animal lovers are a different breed! (No pun intended. Ok, maybe just a little one….)  It’s just one more way I want to help accomplish one of my dreams, which is to help animals. If I can use the skills that have cost me so much in a monetary sense for the good of animals, so much the better!

What do you think – should animals have the same rights as humans? I know this is a loaded question, on which there are so many views.

Making Progress Mondays: Under $1,000!!!!!

Terri
My motto

Finally. It has FINALLY happened. That moment when one of your debts finally dips below the $1,000 mark. My personal loan has dipped to $987.27 with my payment of $177 made on Friday. I now have 29 days from the date of this post to get it paid off, completely.  I CAN DO THIS!
Read more →

Little Things for Which I am Thankful

Terri
Family :-)
Family 🙂

Apologies for the lateness in posting this but I was home with my mom in upstate NY. That’s just one of the things I am thankful for this week.

  1. In addition to seeing my mom, I was able to spend some good quality time with my younger brother. We are on the same page on a lot of things.
  2. I met my mom’s boyfriend and my brother was right. He makes our mom smile a lot, which was good to see.
  3. My mom ordered a specially made wreath for me and it’s hanging inside my apartment now, making it smell all Christmasy. 🙂 It’s decorated in a lot of purple which is one of my favorite colors.
  4. I asked my guardian angels and my grandmother (I always feel like she is with me in spirit) to keep us safe while traveling and they came through for us.
  5. Compared to the big things in life, this is a small thing, but I am thankful for not having been stick in any traffic on Wednesday and today. It may not sound like much but if you have ever sat in traffic for miles and miles in the past, you know what I am talking about.
  6. My journal. Yep, I’m happy for it. I realized tonight I have written in at least half of its pages since the beginning of October, and it has definitely made me feel more grateful for the small things in life.