Write a Book?

Terri
View of Zion National Park, looking west (or down canyon) from along the Angel's Landing Trail
View of Zion National Park, looking west (or down canyon) from along the Angel’s Landing Trail. That’s the Virgin River below – it’s cut through seven layers of rock in Zion over the years. 

I’ve always wanted to write. As far back as I can remember. In fourth grade, after my parents split, it seemed like I wanted to write fiction – plays that my friends and I could act out. I liked creating these worlds where things could be different from mine. Things could be better. Problems could be solved with just the flourish of my pen (we only had typewriters back then. Yes, I’m one of those people who lived before the age of computers. Don’t call me old though, or I may just have to smack you. 🙂 )

Why would anyone want to read what I write? And actually pay for it? When they could read part of my blog and get the same gist of things? Will they think I’m doing it just for the  money? What if they hate it? What if it gets bad reviews when I finally put it up there for the world to see? And worse, what if no one wants to buy it??

These are the self-doubting thoughts that immediately start to come to mind when I sit down to actually start writing. I start to over-analyze every sentence, every word I put onto paper (or in this case, my chromebook’s screen). I try to fight through it by just continuing on, knowing I can always edit later. That’s what I would tell others in my situation, so why do I find it so hard to follow my own advice?

What should the book be about? My journey into learning more about myself? My journey through depression? My attempt at minimalization? My drive across this country in a car with five cats and a dog? My 180 degree change from working at a well paying job in the Ivory Tower, to a world where I get paid to clean up after nonstop-pooping rabbits and clean poopy butts with my bare hands every day? (This, from the woman who never wanted to change a baby’s diaper because I thought it was so gross.)  Some of these, or all of these? Or something else? Should it just be a work of fiction instead?

I’ve read through books on how to write in the past and usually come away feeling even more self-doubtful. Which scares me, because I know from many therapy sessions that I can sometimes have a very harsh inner voice. It’s one I’ve learned to quiet over the years but from time to time, still rears its ugly head (most recently, just a few days ago at work. I could tell I was being irrational but also couldn’t stop myself from feeling hurt when I knew the people around me were only trying to help, with their words of advice.)

Why do I find it so much easier to let the words flow on this blog than when I start to actually type onto a blank piece of paper? 

I’d love to hear any and all thoughts any of you might have on this subject – please drop me a line below, and thank you. Even if it’s to tell me I’m insane and shouldn’t do it, I’ll understand. I appreciate candor in all things, even if it’s sometimes hard to hear or take in at the time.

Paw Prints Forever on My Heart, RIP Sebastian and Daisy

Terri
A photo of my Sebastian (grey and white) with Bonkers. I used to love waking up in the morning and seeing that he had joined the family on the bed overnight.

Last month, I really cursed out this town. I know I wrote a comical post about how I live in a small town, but this one night, it really pissed me off. My Sebastian died. He was the youngest of all my cats, and the one I worried least about, health-wise, other than the fact that he was overweight. (He’d been homeless at one time and that fear of where and when his next meal would come, seemed to always be with him.)  I cursed this town because the only fully staffed emergency vet care is through the sanctuary but they have been short staffed, and even if they weren’t, the policy is that sanctuary animals get preference over employees’ animals for medical care. I understand this, as there are over 1700 animals at the sanctuary and they are the clinic’s first priority. There is a local vet and they have been amazing with the care of my Bonkers, simply amazing. But there are only two of them, and well, they have to go home sometime, so the closest 24 hour emergency animal clinic is in St. George, which is about 75-80 miles away.  While I understand all of this logically, when you are holding an unresponsive animal in your arms, all logic goes out the window.  Read more →

Wants vs. Needs

Terri

Now that I am making roughly 25% of my income from last year, I really have to know the difference of needs vs. wants. It’s a necessity for me to be able to make this distinction, not a luxury. I know the four walls concept of needs: food, shelter, transportation and utilities. But of those, what is really necessary? Read more →

My Relationship with Money

Terri
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com (public domain image)
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com (public domain image)

I have to admit, even thinking about this post’s topic makes me a little uncomfortable. So that tells me it’s something I need to face and to write to get some clarity for myself.

I’ve started listening to a lot of personal finance and simple living podcasts lately and one of them usually asks the guests what their relationship to money was, growing up. I definitely have an answer for that but it’s longer than just a one-word answer. Read more →

Why I Like Living Small

Terri
the view from Scout's Lookout on the Angel's Landing Trail at Zion
the view from Scout’s Lookout on the Angel’s Landing Trail at Zion

I was going to write a post about living in an RV, but then I thought I would write about why I like living small instead because I think a lot of these ideas or reasons can easily be applied to both. I’ll write a separate post about living in an RV later.

  1. Contained.  This is the sense I get – everything I have is easily contained. This doesn’t mean that necessarily everything is in its proper place at all times, but it does mean that everything can be contained within a small structure (small in the sense of relative to the average size house in this world. My RV is 30.5 feet long.) When I start to feel the urge to buy things to make it feel more like “home” I am reminded of the space allotment I have, and that’s usually enough to have my brain switch to “no thanks.”
  2. Neatness. It is really forcing me to be neater than I have ever been before in my life. Maybe it’s also because I do a lot of cleaning up after animals at my job as well, but there is nothing worse than coming into a small space and seeing crap strewn all over the place. Even if it’s the crap you really love and value. When my place is neat, I feel like I can breathe much easier.
  3. Makes me feel financially safer.  I’m now paying about 25% of what my old rent used to be, back in Boston. I was paying for room that I didn’t need.  Because of this, I get excited thinking about how fast I can pay off the RV I currently have, so that I can work on saving money so that I can pay for something smaller, with cash. And how I can fit all of my pets and myself in something much smaller, comfortably. Yes, it would make sense to do something like a Class B, but those can be very expensive unless it’s a lot on the older side, and in that case, I would worry about it breaking down a lot. Guess I should set myself up for an auto mechanic’s course….
  4. Makes me prioritize what I really love and do not love.  I’ve been looking at my closet and thinking that even though I downsized it to get to here, it needs to be downsized even more. I have heard of folks who live in  RVs who get rid of anything that they have not used in one month, and if I follow that rule, there are definitely things that I can say good bye to, however, with the change in seasons, I am not as sure.
  5. Makes me want to go even smaller. The funny thing about downsizing is that now I want to go even smaller. I see lots of Casitas and small travel trailers now, as well as teardrops, in this part of the country, and I look at them wistfully, and think what if I could get all of my possessions into something that small? Wouldn’t that be great??
  6. Less motivation to buy stuff. Because it’s small(er) than my old apartment, the motivation to buy stuff just isn’t there. If I do buy anything,  I then have to bring it home and find a place for it, and that can get kind of tiring. Better to not have to worry about it in the first place.
  7. Makes me want to get out and experience the outdoors. Or maybe that’s just the location. Either way, I prefer to not sit inside all the time! (The above picture is proof.)

Have any of you downsized recently or want to downsize your living quarters, and how has it gone, or why do you want to downsize? Please drop me a line below! (And as always, if you’ve liked the post, please hit like or subscribe or share it, and thanks for reading!)

Signs That You Live in a Small Town

Terri
view from my city park of the cliffs that surround the town
view from my city park of the cliffs that surround the town

I thought some of you might appreciate the humor in some of these.

  1. When giving directions, you say something like “you know where the stoplight is? Ok, take a left there…” (Even though now there are two, everyone refers to the main one as The One. Or maybe that’s just me.)
  2. You know the first name of your UPS delivery guy – btw, it’s Wade, in my case. He even has time to have a quick convo with you after he hands you your package for the evening.
  3. The fact that you know your UPS delivery guy is because you order so much on amazon, or online, since you can’t get it in town or without driving 70 miles to the closest Walmart.
  4. Go back and read Number 3 – yes, the closest Walmart is about 70 miles away.
  5. When you start at your new job, your boss says “so I saw you out running the other day!” Because, you know….there really aren’t so many people out there running. There are a lot of pickup trucks, however.
  6. You have two grocery stores, and neither is a chain. Of those two, one is not open on Sundays. Ever.
  7. You have two drug stores. One closes on a Saturday at noon and doesn’t open again until Monday.
  8. You have one movie theatre in town.  As in one screen. At the beginning of October, the marquee still has info up on the local Utah documentary it showed back on September 10-12th. (I wish I was kidding. Supposedly it’s been taken over by management. All I can say is that they better get their butts in gear if they want to keep any customers.)
  9. Pretty much everyone you work with all live in the same town.
  10. The hardware store closes at 6 p.m. Every night. And oh yes, it’s closed Sundays. (You were ready for that one this time, weren’t you?!)
  11. The big deal for entertainment on Friday evenings is the local high school football team’s games.
  12. When I take little Osito for walks, there is a 9 year old boy who lives down the street and he always keeps an eye out for us so he can lead Osito on her leash. This would  probably never happen in a big city like Boston.

I’m sure that as time goes on and I become more familiar with the place, this list can and will grow. If you’ve liked this post, please hit like or subscribe, or drop me a comment below. Thanks for reading!

Getting Rid of My Debt: A New Beginning and Focus

Terri

This is a post I’ve been contemplating writing for the past two or so weeks, but for some reason, couldn’t bring myself to hit the “publish” button. I’m not sure why. I have just felt out of sorts when it comes to my financial situation because I still haven’t been able to look at a full month’s worth of expenses and salary, to see how it’s really setting itself up. Maybe that’s why. I’m pretty sure it is the reason, actually.  Read more →

Have You Ever?

Terri
Zion National Park, river after the storm.
Zion National Park, river after the storm.

Have you ever….

  1. Had one of those days where you can’t stop smiling?

    Zion National Park, before the storm.
    Zion National Park, before the storm.
  2. Been so happy you find yourself hugging your knees to your chest, and thinking, now THIS….this is what life is all about?
  3. Been so excited to accomplish so many things and dreams and goals that you don’t know where to even start, or which to focus on first?
  4. Found yourself looking at such gorgeous scenery around you and wondering how it is you are so lucky to be able to experience it?
  5. Had so many ideas flowing from your brain you wonder how to go about writing them all down without missing one?
  6. Wanted to share every beautiful image you’ve come across in one day with another or others, but been afraid to overwhelm them?
  7. Been so thankful to be alive?
View of the incoming storm from the Lower Pool, of the Emerald Pools Trail at Zion National Park.
View of the incoming storm from the Lower Pool, of the Emerald Pools Trail at Zion National Park.

Please drop me a comment below and let me and other readers know! Thank you for reading, as always!  Hope you enjoy the pictures, all taken with my phone at Zion National Park!

Simple Things I Love

Terri

Now that I’ve been in Utah for a month, I thought I would take a moment and write about the simple things I love about my life. These are the things that make me smile inwardly and outwardly every day.

  1. Seeing all of my animals eating every morning and every night.  I now understand the passion behind my mom’s statement we heard while growing up: “I would take the shirt off of my own back for you or give you the food out of my own mouth – you will always be taken care of.” (That may not be the exact wording but you get the idea.)
  2. The quiet time I have every morning to write. Everyone else in my RV park is asleep at that time, so it’s just “me” time.
  3. The beautiful view I see on my drive to work every morning – seeing the cliffs and canyons surrounding my town. It’s something you can’t put a price on.
  4. The feeling I get when chopping up veggies for a good healthy dinner, or chopping up bananas to put into a healthy smoothie. I’m doing something good for myself, and creating, and it feels really good.
  5. Looking at a clean and empty kitchen sink and counter with no dirty dishes or extraneous “stuff” laying around. (There’s just something about an uncluttered counter that is so calming.)
  6. Talking to my best friend on the phone and feeling like she’s right there next to me, not over 2500 miles away. She’s so smart, generous and giving. I am so glad to have her in my life and can’t wait to see her again next spring. 
  7. Opening up my pantry cupboard and seeing it full of food, knowing I can provide for myself, and knowing that if I were to just need to live off of that storage for the rest of the month, I could, and that it would make me get creative with my meals.
  8. The feeling of waking up naturally, not to an alarm clock. Feeling well rested,and seeing so many of my animals dozing on the bed near me.
  9. Using pencil and paper, realizing that even though I have a much smaller salary now, I can still afford to pay off things or save a little, every month. All it takes is a little discipline.
  10. My nightly walks with little Osito.  We walk past the big RV park and look at all the big fancy rigs, and I wonder where those people may find themselves the following day. (I love sitting at the airport and realizing how far all these people can travel in a single day.) We like to go around sunset so it’s not so hot.  On our last walk, she met a 9 year old boy and continued her simple way of being an ambassador for dogs everywhere, just by being her super sweet self. 🙂
  11. This shows you how much my world has changed – Utah is definitely not Boston in some aspects. I just got contacted by the recycling guy and I’m going to be able to continue recycling – this brings me so much joy, you have no idea.

What are some simple things that you love or make you happy in your life? Please drop me a line below and let everyone know! And as always, if you have liked this post, please hit like or subscribe. 

One Month

Terri
Lone Rock Beach at Lake Powell - this place is one I will return to again, and again, and again.
Lone Rock Beach at Lake Powell – this place is one I will return to again, and again, and again.

First off, I would like to thank everyone for reading my blog. This week has seen the most views of it since I started it two years ago. Not sure why, but I’m so glad people are reading and seem to be enjoying it. Thank you so much.

On the 11th, it’ll be one month since I pulled into my RV spot. One month since I could stop the cycle of loading all my furballs into the car every morning, praying the hotel clerk wouldn’t see that I had five carriers loaded into my small car! One month since I didn’t have to get up and just drive, drive, drive, every single day.

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, sorry, I just had to yell that. I’m back now. And calm. 🙂  And I do remember what happened 14 years ago on this date. How could any of us forget?

Lone Rock Beach at sunset. Every minute, the view changes - it's wonderful and enchanting.
Lone Rock Beach at sunset. Every minute, the view changes – it’s wonderful and enchanting.

Over the past month, I’ve had issues with the RV (don’t you love getting to know your neighbors because you’re apologizing for sewage coming out of your abode onto their property? Yeah…….) (In my defense, the folks who transported my trailer put the sewer hose into the wrong place.) The second day, I was just getting out of the shower when I heard a knock on my door. The owner of the park had stopped by to see about my sewage problem from the day before, and realized i was spewing my grey water all over the neighbors (yep, same ones), but again, in my defense, there was a Y connector that my neighbors had set up, and something was worn out. Oh, and the fourth night I was there (a Friday night, of course), I locked myself out of the RV. With the spare keys inside……yeah……. so that involved me and a neighbor trying to break into the RV, finding out that was useless from many different aspects (windows, the skylight over the bathroom, etc.), before I finally called a locksmith. She swore up and down it would have cost a couple hundred dollars, but in reality, it cost only $45. Needless to say, I made copies of my keys and hid them outside the next day.  And one day, a few fellow campers heard my AC unit making a horrible racket and one also works for my organization. She called HR and asked them to contact me, as she knew it would be a very hot day and I had animals inside the RV. (That was the day I went to the Grand Canyon, actually.)

That was my welcome to rv living, or RV Living 101 class, you could say. By the way, to those of you who are RVers, I watch youtube videos, etc., but are there good websites to learn about RV maintenance in general? As in checklists of what to check for and do before winter hits, etc.? 

Taken from inside Lower Antelope Canyon, outside of Page, AZ (close to Lake Powell).
Taken from inside Lower Antelope Canyon, outside of Page, AZ (close to Lake Powell).

I’ve also gone to numerous national parks – the $80 it costs to get an annual pass pays for itself. Each visit to a national park on its own would cost at least $25-30.  I’ve been to Bryce National Park (twice), Grand Canyon North Rim (second time in 13 years), Zion National Park, Arches National Park (last night of my cross country trip), and Lake Powell (twice). It’s hard to pick a favorite among them, honestly. They are all so different and beautiful in their own right. Lake Powell was the most recent, and it was the only time I have heard honest-to-goodness waves crashing against the shore in over a month, so I think that might be edging itself out there in front for that reason.

Another shot of Lower Antelope Canyon. The light changes constantly, and is amazing. It's on Navajo Tribal Land, so all tours are guided.
Another shot of Lower Antelope Canyon. The light changes constantly, and is amazing. It’s on Navajo Tribal Land, so all tours are guided.

I’m in the middle of my fourth week at the new job. I feel like I’m establishing a new routine, both at work and in my personal life. I’ve carved out time in my day (very early in the a.m.) to get to the gym, and have started taking my chromebook to the sanctuary so I can work on things over my lunch break (including blog posts!) My “weekend” days are not on the actual weekend which is good and bad. When you’re trying to meet people, it can be hard when your only days off are the ones when they are at the office or their job. But if there is one thing I’ve learned over the past two years, it’s to not be complacent. So I put myself out there, and try to meet others. And in my days off, I’m making sure I see more of this beautiful land called southern Utah. 

The beauty of this area is a huge part of why I moved out here. I wanted to see beauty and get out there and have an outdoor lifestyle. I’m sure that come winter, it may be more difficult to do so, but until then, baby…..I’m getting out there as often as I can! I’ve pushed myself to walk in places at the parks where before I would have been scared to walk due to my fear of heights. With every “push” I give myself, I feel myself getting stronger. It’s a wonderful feeling to know you can be at any age and still be growing. 

My phone doesn't do the best with the lighting in the canyon, but I just love how the sandstone looks, and curves.
My phone doesn’t do the best with the lighting in the canyon, but I just love how the sandstone looks, and curves.